Author: Ray A-J

Welcome to the wild and wonderful world of the drag you under the bus Cabaret. Warning : will contain unrestricted nudity and lashings of explicit content.

“YOU KNOW what my three favourite things are?” a small figure demands, with a nervous ferocity. “P*ssing on individuals, f*cking in public… and baking,” they declare before stripping off, and peeing into a cup.

Donning just a black leather jacket, emblazoned with the words ‘Cool dad‘, denim short shorts and bare chest, the figure begins to weave themselves into the rowdy crowd, kindly offering up their glass of excretion. “Here, have it. Do you want it? Do you?”

When I was met with the words Drag you under the bus Cabaret accompanied by the wheels on the bus soundtrack just moments before, I can honestly say, this is not what I imagined I’d be watching. The politically charged drag show, hosted by the charming Hans Euf, is a crazy concoction of lipsyncs, nudity, and comedy, complete with a tripping out Margaret Thatcher, and a unicorn doing the unspeakable with a shoe; it’s a little more than your average Cabaret, that’s for sure.

“Do you wanna know why my name is Cool Dad?” the almost angered character asks us, as they introduce themselves. “I got it while I was having sex. They kept whimpering ‘oh daddy, daddy, give it to me daddy’.” They awkwardly explain, to the sounds of faux orgasmic moans. And just as the last echos of fake moaning fade away, Cool Dad picks up a whip. Hang on, are they actually about to whip someone right in front of us? Their hand swings back, with the whip dangling behind a volunteer from the audience’s backside. No, seriously? “No, you won’t be able to handle it,” they laugh, jokingly touching the volunteer with the leather toy. Phew.

The night had kicked off with a racy lipsync, featuring Hans themselves and a scantily clad nun (known as Tastes like dust), showing off their perfectly timed miming skills, followed by the gorgeously comical Dick Day faux drunkenly prancing to the sounds of pop group Little Mix, but had become increasingly less light-hearted within the next ten minutes or so. With the inclusion of acts like the ferocious Cool dad aka Katy Jalili, the political Chiyo, and outspoken Rubyy Jones, imperative topics that are often swept under the carpet, and nervously branded taboo, were finally seeing the light.

“The next act is someone I have alot of respect for. Please welcome to the stage… Rubyy Jones,” Hans introduces, as a tall character dressed head to toe in a brilliant pink emerges. Openly stripping herself of all clothing, and ‘freeing the nipple’ as it were, the Queen explores a fearless fight for gender equality and the abolition of women being seen as objects.

As Hans explained to us during a short break before Rubyy appeared, acts like hers were germane to raising awareness of the cause behind tonight’s show. The whole show wasn’t just for our entertainment; this particular rendition was all in aid of raising money for the charity known as Survivors. The organisation supports women, men, and everyone else who may have been abused, raped, or subject to violence. And with the recent #MeToo movement, performers and charities such as these are becoming more and more important. The Drag you under the bus Cabaret in particular sought to raise as much money as possible for the cause, with the performers holding a raffle towards the end of the show.

“If you spend £10 or more, you win a signed photo of me and strawberry laces,” our host explains to the lively crowd. “Now the grand prize is… Drum roll please… The grand prize is… a signed and framed original Hans Euf moustache, as well as two tickets for the next Drag you under the bus Cabaret show,” they beam, to applause from the excited crowd. Hans had actually only recently decided to shed their iconic mustache, realising they are man enough without it, so it seemed like a fitting farewell for the tache to be ditched and given away to the popular act’s supportive fans, in aid of a charity that aims to rebuild the survivors’ faith in themselves and their identities.

We won’t actually find out who the winner of the raffle is till much later in the show, so until then we are introduced to the rest of Hans’ crew.

“Now this is an act we haven’t seen before,” calls Hans as Katy Jalili (whom previously appeared as the act Cool dad) reappears on stage, donning nothing but strategically placed fluorescent pink bows. And as the performer precedes to urinate onto the now slippery floor, this time under the narrative of a young child overcome by fear and embarressment, the outdated concept of the gender binary is completed destructed in front of our eyes.

“She’s a girl.”

“No he’s a boy.”

A voice over sample plays, depicting the parents of Katy’s character bicker as they desperately try to decipher their child’s gender – all the while the child descends further into stress and turmoil.

“He’s a boy.”

“No she’s a girl.”

“No he’s a boy.”

“What do you want to be?”

The debate continues, swiftly combusting into an overwhelming cacophony of noise.

“He’s a boy. No she’s a girl. No he’s a bo-”

“Why can’t I be both?” the child finally screams, breaking through the madness.
As the weight of the performer’s words settle in, the tedious arguing dissipates, leaving behind a heavy silence. But the emptiness doesn’t stick around for too long. “Wooooooo,” a roar from the agreeing crowd rips through, as the fluorescent performer pulls out a phalic shaped balloon, momentarily adopting the character of a sword-eater, opens it up, and… No way, they’re not going to… Oh they did… swallows it whole. Ouch.

“Every time we do this show, someone always ends up weeing on stage,” our MC of the night, Hans laughs, as the intense Katy Jaliliy leaves the stage to roars from the crowd.

With a quick clean of the floor by the group’s reluctant janitor (a regular addition of the Cabaret), Hans is ready to begin their game with us. “Get your phones out, open a little app called instagram,” they beam. “Now, all you have to do is search for drag you under the bus Cabaret. You done it? Now you just click the little follow button. And that’s it, done. We’ll be counting up those follows, and someone here that follows us will be picked at random to win a prize.” And with that singular moment, the overall tone of the night was set.

On the surface, the game seems simple; a quick way of gaining an audience and spreading the word of the show across social media. Yet, in reality, this small act surpassed the superficial gaining of an online presence. It showcased the solidarity in the room. The Cabaret was about more than simply entertaining us – It was about support, it was about everyone coming together, no matter their identities, and truly accepting one another. And more than that, it was about fighting for acceptance beyond the four walls of Komedia. Amazingly, this moving feeling seemed to ripple through the entirety of the show, with each act that had planted themselves on the stage becoming a member of the audience, clapping along to their fellow performers, and completely lifting them, with every cheer. It was enchanting to see.

After such hard-hitting topics, we needed a some good lighthearted fun. So in comes Margaret Thatcher… on acid.
Yes, you read that right. The talented Queen Jessica Black comes in, dolled up as the “not very popular Torrie from the eightees,” only with a splash of tongue in cheek craziness. Neon lights and thumping beats fill the once dark room, as a fake acid trip takes hold. Thatcher’s gone wild, robot dancing and lipsyncing to her own remixed vocal samples snatch from her speeches. But just before the late Prime Minister can claw back any dignity, she strips off her skirt. And, with that image firmly imprinted in our minds, the three hour show had come to the end.

“Help yourself to the goody bag of things we have left on your chairs: blowy things (party horns), whistles, lollipops, and a copy of our very own Stemme magazine,” says Hans as the show closes. But the welcome packs and strawberry laces won’t be the only souvenirs we are left with.

From jumping on spacehoppers, to tripping out Prime Ministers, and masturbating unicorns, the show never failed to surprise. And even with the occasional technical errors, a comically long and strenuous joke, and jolting of some songs (in all fairness, it was only the second ever rendition of the live show), the dragged up Cabaret kept us well and truly amazed. Despite its explicit, and overtly sexual tone, the wild night seriously hit home with its poignant topics of gender and women’s rights. With acts like the humble Chiyo (whom performed a gorgeous and at times heart-wrenching lipsync), and the hilarious Dick Day, the show proved that drag acts don’t have to be TV famous in order to be incredible. And as Hans themselves said: “Support Local drag acts. We may not even make half of what a Rupaul’s drag race girl would make in a day, but it doesn’t make us any less of a performer.”

I sure hope the next (and third ever) rendition of Drag you under the bus Cabaret will be just as jammed pack with solidarity and wonderful performances, if not less explicit.

Hans and their crew will be back for a Halloween special of the show on October 26, featuring the talents of JOE BLACK, ROCOCO CHANEL, ALPHA BITES, And VLAD VON KITSCH. I’m guessing it’s really going to be ooky spooky meglamooky dingdangdooky.

Review by Ray A-J