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Tales of the Second City: Personal Services: Shopping with a Sex Worker

I’ve heard of personal shoppers to the stars… but porn stars?

I received a message out of the blue from a mate who had recently embarked on a new enterprise, making and sharing adult content for the paying public on OnlyFans.

“ARE YOU FREE THIS WEEKEND? I NEED YOUR HELP WITH SOMETHING.”

Intrigued, I sent back, “YOU DON’T WANT ME TO APPEAR IN ONE OF YOUR VIDEOS, DO YOU?!”

He assured me that wasn’t the case.

“PHEW… THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO DO SOME PRESS-UPS!”

We arranged to meet the following afternoon on Hurst Street.

He was delighted by the positive response his content was generating.

“I’ve only been going a month, but I am getting a following, with more and more subscribers every day,” he told me. “In fact, stats show I am currently in the top thirty percent of OnlyFans creators in the country!”

The rarity of a British South Asian openly performing in gay porn, without concealing their identity, was generating particular interest.

“I’m happy to show my face and share my name,” said Jayhan Singh. “My family know I am doing this; I’ve told work colleagues and seen HR at work to ask if it would affect my employment.”

“What did they say?”

“That it has no bearing on my work… unless I mention the company name.”

To be so comfortable in one’s own skin, where you are happy to bare every inch of it online for the world to enjoy, is admirable.

It turns out I wasn’t the only one impressed. He had been contacted by the BBC to discuss his perspective on sex work…which was why he wanted to meet.

“I’ve never done interviews,” Jay admitted. “I was wondering, if you were free, and didn’t mind… would you come with me to the studio. You don’t need to go on air, but I’d appreciate the support.”

“So, you’re asking me to hold your hand?”

“Yes.”

“Of course,” I told him, secretly disappointed he didn’t want me to help film some content.

I adored that he had no qualms about performing sex acts in front of a camera but chatting to the media made him bashful.

The conversation moved to the dubious quality of online South Asian gay videos.

Jay asked, “Do you ever watch Desi-porn?”

I gave him a look that said, what do you think? “It probably appears at the top of my search history,” I told him.

By this point, we had been joined by my partner and we shared opinions.

While I liked the amateur nature of the vids produced in India and Pakistan, my partner bemoaned the lack of professionalism.

“Also, they are too short,” he said. “I need at least eight minutes.”

Jayhan planned on capitalising on his niche market, producing something of a higher quality, utilising Indian attire, props and set dressing, to appeal to his fanbase.

The next day I received a new message: “WHAT U DOING 2MORA? DO YOU WANT TO GO SHOPPING FOR OUTFITS?”

I assumed we would be heading to CloneZone for rubber pants and a harness, but no… he wanted to go to Soho Road to pick out a traditional Asian dress.

So, one atypical Tuesday, I found myself taking the scenic bus route to Handsworth, to act as personal shopper to a sex worker.

It became quickly apparent that Jay had no idea what he was looking for.

“I’ve never worn stuff like this,” he confessed. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Well, go for a basic kameez (*The long shirt or tunic worn with loose pyjama-like trousers),” I advised, leading him away from the high-end boutiques, glittering with stunning wedding robes with astronomical price tags.

We found ourselves in a cramped shop in a market bazaar run by a portly gent.

The store was stacked and strewn with colourful clothing for both sexes.

“Try something white,” I suggested, “that would set off your skin tone.”

Instead, he was drawn to a rich blue top, with gold trim, and simple white bottoms.

Jayhan looked dubiously at the immense waist of the trousers, “Those are too big. I’m going to need a smaller size.”

“They have a drawstring. One size fits all,” I explained. “How do I know more about this stuff than you?”

He decided I was his ginger pink guru.

He went to try the outfit on, navigated precarious stacks of packaging to reach the shop’s lone changing cubical, squeezing in amongst a tottering tower of boxes.

Moments later, he remerged looking radiant.

He grinned, “I look like someone else!”

“You’re Indian,” I declared. “Who knew?!”

It was only now that we thought to ask the price. It all came to a mere £35, including a white and gold scarf, to complete the ensemble (which the store owner had to demonstrate how to wear). Bargain!

The store had filled up with female shoppers.

I asked a practical question, “How far down does that top unbutton?”

Jay demonstrated. They opened down to a point below the chest, which would look hot with nothing underneath, we agreed.

We found ourselves in the awkward predicament of discussing how to make gay porn, whilst in a confined space with half a dozen women haggling over headscarves and saris. A bizarre conversation to have in a crowded bazaar.

“What deal will you give me for this?” asked a young woman, holding up a brightly coloured dress. “I’ll give you twenty pounds.”

“This is fixed price shop,” the storekeeper insisted. “It is thirty pounds.”

The woman gave me a smirk that suggested confidence in knocking him down in price.

“Go for it,” I encouraged her. “I’ve seen my mother haggle in Marks and Spencer.”

Back to porn, I explained to Jayhan how he could play with himself through the kameez then pull it up to reveal his tent-polled cotton trousers.

“I like this scarf,” an indomitable matriarch called across the shop. “You sell for five pounds?”

“Then you can undo the drawstring and slowly pull them down to reveal all,” I continued in a whisper.

“I’ll take this yellow scarf as well,” the older woman insisted, “for three pounds.”

“I might ask if he has a pair those curly shoes,” Jay mused.

“I’d ask if that blue tunic is wipe clean first,” I suggested.

The young woman got her dress for £20… and I assume the indomitable matron got whatever she demanded.

Jayhan left with the fetching blue and white outfit… for the asking price. He was far too mild mannered (and not Indian enough) to successfully haggle.

We should have brought my mother.

Terry Higgins to be honoured with AIDS Memorial Quilt 40 years after his death

Part of the quilt is an image of Terry, by Nathan Wyburn (@nathanwyburnart)

Terry Higgins, the first named person to die of an AIDS-related illness in the UK, is to be honoured with an AIDS Memorial Quilt, which will be exhibited for the first time at the Festival of Quilts at Birmingham‘s NEC from Thursday, August 3 to Sunday, August 6.

Richard Angell, chief executive of Terrence Higgins Trust, said: “The AIDS Memorial Quilts are beautiful, emotional and personal tributes to those lost in the earliest days of the HIV epidemic to ensure they are never forgotten. Made with love in the 1980s and 90s, making the quilts also helped those left behind come to terms with their loss.

“Known as the NAMES Project, the quilts are an irreplaceable piece of social history which tell the stories of just some of those who tragically died. The project started in America in the 1980s before soon being adopted in the UK.

“The quilt panels were all made by lovers, friends or family. There are 48 quilts as part of the UK AIDS Memorial Quilt – each consisting of eight individual panels.

“There are quilt panels for famous faces including campaigner Mark Ashton (whose story is told in film Pride), writer Bruce Chatwin, artist and filmmaker Derek Jarman, and photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. As well as panels without a name because of the stigma surrounding HIV and AIDS.

“But there is no panel for Terry Higgins, the first named person to die of an AIDS-related illness in the UK. And we wanted to change that to remember Terry, celebrate his legacy and engage as many people as possible in where we are today with the opportunity to end new HIV cases in the UK by 2030. As well as to bring new attention to the incredible original quilts.

“Our charity was started in Terry’s name to humanise the epidemic and shows its very personal impact on people’s lives. To make it clear those dying in such a terrible way were someone’s son or daughter, brother or sister, lover or friend – just like Terry. The AIDS memorial quilts do the same thing in such a powerful, beautiful and often devastating way.

“That’s why, 40 years on from his death, we’re proud to announce the Terry Higgins Memorial Quilt will be exhibited for the first time this summer at The Festival of Quilts in Birmingham’s NEC.

“We couldn’t be more thrilled with what’s been achieved over the last year in partnership with those who knew and loved Terry, the Quilters’ Guild and the incredibly talented quilters who have worked on each panel.

“The project has been overseen by our co-founders Rupert Whitaker and Martyn Butler, and Terry’s close friends Linda and Maxine, who have worked closely with passionate quilters from across the country to let us all get to know Terry better. There are eight panels, including about Terry as a friend, as a Welshman, as a gay man and from his time in the Royal Navy.

“The quilt is now very nearly finished and I couldn’t be more proud of it. It has already moved people to tears with its scale, the quality of the work and with the powerful story it tells.

“I can’t wait for thousands to see it for the first time at the Festival of Quilts and am excited to see where it goes from there! I also hope it will help drive more attention to the original UK AIDS Memorial Quilt. But rest assured, we have big plans.”

Friend of Dorothy – supplements to improve gay sex

Friend of Dorothy is a company dedicated to providing high-quality LGBTQ+ merchandise, including supplements to improve gay sex. They are a small but passionate team based in the UK, with a shared vision of creating a safe and inclusive space for the LGBTQ+ community. Their aim is to offer a wide range of merchandise that represents the diversity and uniqueness of our community, while also promoting LGBTQ+ visibility and equality.

Hi Oliver, Friend of Dorothy is such a great name! Please tell us a little about yourself and what led you to start the company.

Friend of Dorothy is an emerging brand that aims to enhance men’s sexual experiences by providing natural, secure, and efficient supplements. Our main emphasis is on serving the gay community, and we have designed our products to cater to their unique requirements. When I was looking for products such as psyllium husk, I found it hard to find brands that were clear about what they did and how they could help me that’s where it all started.

Talking about great names, you exemplify the concept of ‘It does what it says on the tin’. Your products have some eye-catching, edgy names. Let’s start with HARD. Tell us about HARD.

I know of many gay men who use Viagra often because of instability in their libido. And many people have enquired about the similarity between our natural alternative and Viagra. Personally I prefer natural remedies over unnecessary medical products, and I believe many men of a certain age would share this sentiment. The challenge with Viagra lies in its temporary muscle cell relaxation in the penile blood vessels, which leads to increased blood flow. However, its effects are short-lived, and it does not address the underlying issue.

On the other hand, HARD distinguishes itself by focusing on enhancing libido and improving the quality of erections. Its primary ingredients, maca and horny goat weed, are derived from plants rather than pharmaceutical drugs, ensuring that they do not provide a one-time solution like Viagra.

Regular usage allows HARD to boost libido and improve erection quality without medical interventions.

Furthermore, HARD offers many additional benefits, such as increased energy levels, stress relief, and a rich supply of essential amino acids. It also contains vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, and C and iron, magnesium, zinc, and calcium. These extensive components demonstrate that HARD surpasses the conventional solutions available.

Scientific research has long validated the positive effects of Maca and Horny Goat Weed on men’s health and overall well-being. HARD stands out as an ideal choice for those seeking a natural alternative to Viagra, as it offers a diverse range of benefits that few modern foods can match.

Moving on (and up?), BOTTOM sounds like a unique product for men who love to bottom. What’s it about?

BOTTOM for Men offers an exceptional solution for men seeking to maintain cleanliness and freshness during anal sex, often reducing the need for douching. This natural product contains psyllium Husk, a plant-based fibre source. Medical professionals consistently highlight the benefits of a high-fibre diet for digestive health and facilitating douching. However, studies reveal that many men consume less than the recommended daily fibre intake. With Bottom for Men, you can effortlessly and swiftly obtain the necessary fibre to support a smoothly functioning digestive system.

The product functions like a sponge, absorbing water and expanding as it progresses through your system. This process aids in flushing out your intestines, providing an additional safeguard against bacteria or other potential contaminants during anal sex, thus ensuring your safety and cleanliness. Furthermore, it enables you to relish a high-fibre diet without concerns about gas or bloating, making the bottoming experience more comfortable.

And finally, we reach the climax of our interview when we ask about CUM? How does it work?

As a gay dad of three kids, when going through the process of the facility I was very worried about the lack of cum  I would generate when ejaculating. I spent a lot of time researching ways to increase my load. I found the right combination of zinc and Vitamin C did the trick. Now I just use it recreationally; also, it intensifies the whole experience of cumming..

That’s what led me to create this supplement. It is a game-changer in the realm of men’s ejaculation experience. Specifically formulated with a potent blend of zinc and vitamin C, CUM aims to enhance sperm quality and quantity. Zinc plays a crucial role in sperm development and function, aiding in producing healthy and motile sperm. It also helps prevent DNA damage and promotes the overall quality of sperm cells.

On the other hand, vitamin C, known for its potent antioxidant properties, protects sperm cells from oxidative stress and improves their viability. By combining these two powerful ingredients, CUM offers a better ejactulation experience.

Thanks for explaining your top products Oliver. Have you got more in the works? More plans to make the lives of gay men even more fulfilling?

Yes, we have got some fantastic products in the works, all very openly targeted at gay men. One thing I hate is when companies go after the ‘pink pound’. I think we need more gay-owned businesses serving our community, and I am super excited to be part of that.

Check out the Friend of Dorothy product range HERE

“Soho House is trying to steal our view”. Legends Brighton releases statement on new planning application from the private members’ club

Soho House is trying to steal our view with a new planning application! We waited over five years to get this back (and still await the removal of the ugly Heras fencing) but now they want to take it away forever!

A high foliage permission is hidden within the application that will take away the Camelford and Legends Terrace view COMPLETELY.

At the end of 2015 after a long planning debate, the original Soho House application BH2015/02443 was approved with Condition 16. This condition was imposed to address the issue that the two new Soho House Private Members Club buildings were to be built above the cliff and would block the view of the Palace Pier from Marine Parade.

Condition 16 states: A visual gap of 10 metres shall be permanently maintained between the two permitted built structures on the upper tier level. The gaps are to remain permanently free of any visual obstruction.

We need Brighton & Hove City Council to respect and defend Condition 16 There is no way that the proposed fence and shrubs respect Condition 16.

This is also a direct contravention of the Brighton & Hove Local Plan 2005 Policy QD4 Strategic Impact which states ‘In order to preserve or enhance strategic views, important vistas, the skyline, all new development should display a high quality of design.

‘Development that has a detrimental impact on any of these factors and impairs a view, even briefly, due to its appearance, by wholly obscuring it or being out of context with it, will not be permitted’.

Furthermore, no mention is made of the tall planters and shrubbery i.e. stealth extension of their terraces/sunbathing deck at the lefthand side of the building (directly in front of Legends) that can be clearly seen in a new application. If the application is approved, we cannot stop them doing this.

WE MUST STOP IT NOW

Please register your objections no later than June 6 by CLICKING HERE 

Ref: BH2023/00935

Be sure to mention the detritus on the roof too – all of which was added without consent!

Simon Adams: ALL THAT JAZZ (Music Reviews)

PHAROAH SANDERS: Live In Fabrik, Hamburg 1980 (Jazzline Classics)

American saxophonist Pharoah Sanders was a veritable force of nature, a trailblazing, flame-throwing, free-form disciple of John Coltrane who then suprisingly begun to turn out dance-floor classics, most notably You Gotta Have Freedom and the wondrous, evocative The Creator Has A Master Plan, both of which are among the five tracks on this set. He sadly died last September aged 81, but this live performance from Germany, recorded in 1980, is a fine way to remember him at the height of his powers. With his then working band of pianist John Hicks, bassist Curtis Lundy and drummer Idris Muhammad, he powers through the set, his trademark squalling saxophone veering towards cacophony and chaos. Sanders was always an exciting player, his bands always thrilling. Catch him here at his very best.

RICHIE BEIRACH: Leaving (Jazzline)

American pianist Richie Beirach has been producing solo records for 45 years, so he knows what is doing. This time he is playing a set of gold-plated jazz standards to a small audience of 120 people in a chateau near Bordeaux in France, his trademark rigour and determination well to the fore as ever. His taste is varied, taking in Bill Evans’s Nardis, Miles Davis’s Solar, a predictable ‘Round Midnight, and a wonderful version of Wayne Shorter’s Footprints. Interestingly, he runs several different standards together in lengthy, complex medleys, linking Herbie Hancock’s Maiden Voyage to Monk’s Dream, for example, and dropping in numerous quotes from other well-known songs, to notably great effect on Leonard Bernstein’s Some Other Time. You don’t listen to Beirach for relaxation, as he can be a demanding performer, but the effort is always worthwhile.

STEPHAN MICUS: Thunder (ECM)

German musician Stephan Micus is best described as a world musician, utilising a wide range of local and ethnic wind, string and percussion instruments that he plays unaccompanied, layering their sounds into complex and often wonderful pieces. For his 25th (!) solo album for ECM, he has produced a tribute and offering to nine thunder gods from round the world, those gods that disturb our lives and render us powerless in the face of their power. His original inspiration was not a god but the long Tibetan dung chen trumpet, usually heard playing the sustained drones note during Buddhist religious ceremonies. This trumpet is taught just to monks, making Micus probably the first non-Tibetan to learn and play this magnificent horn. What results is certainly atmospheric and most beautifully played, although some of us might shy away from the misconceived and dated ethnic misappropriation this project invokes.

KEITH & JULIE TIPPETT – Couple In Spirit: Sound On Stone (Discus)

Keith Tippett was a renowned improvising pianist, Julie Tippetts a wondrous singer best known for Ab Fab’s theme song This Wheel’s On Fire. A couple in spirit and marriage – despite the different spellings of their surname – they began to plan an album together in 2019, but then lockdown intervened and Keith died in 2020. Bravely, Julie decided to go ahead by herself, overdubbing her vocals on to some historic live recordings of Keith’s solo concerts. What results is a brave, raw, and beautiful concoction of improvised piano, vocals, zithers and percussion. Throughout, Keith’s piano is dynamic and sometimes theatrical, Julie’s voice as powerful and poised as ever. The wonder, of course, is that together they sound simultaneous, despite the fact that on some pieces, they were recorded more than 40 years apart. This is not an easy album to listen to, such is its power and emotion, but it is a beautiful work of re-creation, and love.

TRISTAN BANKS: View From Above (Ubuntu Music)

Drummer, percussionist, and composer Tristan Bankshas worked with many good musicians, notably Roy Ayers, Steve Winwood, Dave Gilmour, and Terry Callier, and is also a local lad, the manager of Brighton’s best jazz club, The Verdict, in Edward Street. For his debut album he has brought together a classy quartet. All the 10 pieces on the album are by the leader, and all impress for their difficult, off-beat time signatures, many Brazilian in style, and their strong melodies. Throughout, there is a maturity to this music, a compositional strength that gives it integrity and style. Saxophonist Paul Booth is on fine form throughout as is the ever-impressive John Crawford on piano, while probably the world’s tallest bass player Davide Mantovani is a consistently supportive presence. On the drum stool, Banks is initiator and inventor, steering each piece forward with great panache. If this was my debut album, I would be mighty proud.

WADADA LEO SMITH & ORANGE WAVE ELECTRIC: Fire Illuminations (Kabel Records, download only)

You might have thought that, after his frenetic celebrations for his 80th birthday in 2022, trumpeter Wadada Leo Smith would have had a year off to relax and recharge. But no, for with 2023 barely a few months old, he continues in action with the Orange Wave Electric, his new electric ensemble. The five tracks on this debut set were assembled in a series of sessions and configurations, the final album the subject of much post-production work. Of course, Smith has form when it comes to electric instruments, his three hi-voltage collaborations with guitarist Henry Kaiser on the Yo Miles! project lighting up the skies some years back. So here he is in his element, his long, piercing horn lines echoing out over the electric maelstrom beneath him. Echoes of Miles Davis in his prime flood back here, inevitably, but Smith’s beautiful, strong trumpet carries all before it. It is sometimes hard to pin Smith down, as he is so varied and versatile. But he does sound right at home here, still finding great inspiration in the music of half a century ago.

Greater Fort Lauderdale: Not Your Ordinary Day at the Beach

Great Fort Lauderdale, renowned as Florida’s LGBTQ+ capital, is home to 38 kilometres of sparkling Atlantic coastline and eight different beach communities. With 3,000 hours of sunshine annually and an average year-round temperature of 25°C, this area is a beach lover’s paradise. All of the beaches are perfect for relaxing, soaking up the sun, swimming and water sports, and most also offer their share of exceptional hotels, shops, restaurants and entertainment. But beyond everything you’d expect from a typical day at the beach, there are also plenty of surprises. Here’s a look at a unique offering from each of these eight beaches.

Deerfield Beach

Feeling adventurous? Deerfield Beach is home to Ski Rixen USA, one of the first cable water-skiing parks in the nation. An innovative pulley and cable system pulls you along the 2,700-foot oval course and lessons are available, along with the skis or wakeboard. So, if you’ve always wanted to try waterskiing or wakeboarding, this is the perfect place. No boat needed! And it’s an amazing experience for experienced skiers and wakeboarders as well.

Hillsborough Beach

The stand-out offering on this beach is the historic Hillsborough Lighthouse, built in 1906. Tours are offered monthly and include a scenic boat ride to get to the southern end of the peninsula. You can climb the 175 steps of the spiral staircase to reach the 138-foot top for amazing views. You can also see the memorial statue of the barefoot mailman, who walked 40 miles each week to deliver mail between Palm Beach and Miami back in the late 1800s.

Pompano Beach

While there’s much to discover in Pompano Beach, such as concerts at its 3,000-seat amphitheatre or amazing scuba diving at Shipwreck Park, perhaps this is the beach to start your journey on Greater Fort Lauderdale’s Ale Trail. Download the Visit Lauderdale Ale Trail Passport and enjoy discounts and earn prizes. Stops in Pompano Beach include Odd Breed Wild Ales, Pompano Beach Brewing Company and 26 Degree Brewing.

Lauderdale-By-The-Sea

This walkable beach town has the feel of a seaside village but its claim to fame is that it’s only one of two beaches in the continental USA where you can snorkel and dive on a living coral reef straight off the beach (the other is Greater Fort Lauderdale’s Hollywood Beach). Just 100 yards from shore, an easy five-minute swim, a view of the reef’s astounding variety of fish and critters awaits.

Fort Lauderdale Beach

Fort Lauderdale beach

This is the area’s most famous beach with its iconic wave wall and bustling beachfront promenade. And at the corner of Sebastian Street and A1A, you’ll discover Sebastian Street Beach, named the “Hottest U.S. Gay Beach” by Out Traveler. You’re sure to encounter abundant eye candy and a lively crowd – the more the merrier!

Dania Beach

While dining delights abound at any beach in Greater Fort Lauderdale, Dania Beach is one of the few that has dining right on the water. At the Quarterdeck Dania Beach Pier, you can enjoy a front-seat view of the ocean and the sound of the waves along with delicious seafood like smoked mahi dip and clams in garlic wine butter.

Hollywood Beach

Hollywood Beach

The brick-paved Hollywood Beach Broadwalk is the star here, stretching over nearly three miles from Jefferson Street to Sheridan Street, ending at Hollywood North Beach Park and offering  dramatic views of the beach. Bike, stroll, jog, people-watch, dine at an outdoor café or shop at the weekend Yellow Green Farmer’s Market.

Hallandale Beach

Get your perfect Instagram moment here with the Beach Ball Water Tower at the North City Beach Park, located right by those irresistible ocean breezes. And at nearby luxury shopping destinations such as Gulfstream Park, you can shop till you drop onto Hallandale Beach’s four miles of soft sand and crystal-clear water.

Plan your holiday now to Greater Fort Lauderdale at VisitLauderdale.com/LGBT and discover a beach playground unlike any other.

All You Need Is Love: Romain Berger’s provocative photography to be exhibited at the Ledward Centre

Provocative and kitsch are two of many ways that you can describe Romain Berger‘s photography. Utilising elaborate set designs and vibrant lighting, Romain plays with stereotypes of the gay male community, contrasting public image with what happens in private: “The married man who sleeps with boys, the businessman drinking his whisky in front of a naked man, denouncing patriarchy,” he explains. “In my work, it is the man who becomes the object.”

Romain lives in Rennes, a city in the west of France. He studied film, however faced difficulty finding a job in filmmaking. He bought a camera and discovered a passion for photography, realising that he could capture the stories he wanted to tell in a single frame.

Donnez leur de la brioche

About his influences, Romain says that “Since I was a teenager, I was a big fan of photographer David Lachapelle’s images, without ever knowing that he would be one of my great inspirations for the rest of my career. I also love James Bidgood, who was a pioneer of homoeroticism and who unfortunately never managed to make a living from his work. It’s also a tribute to him that I’m working hard to make it happen and change people’s minds.”

After winning a competition in May 2021, Romain’s photos were shown at the famous Schwules Museum in Berlin, the world’s first museum dedicated to LGBTQ+ history. There is also a book, Life’s a Cabaret, a retrospective of his work between 2018 and 2022. His work is also published in the book SEX UTOPIA, an anthology of 70 artists from across the world.
Ken
The All You Need Is Love exhibition will be at the Ledward Centre, 14a Jubilee St, Brighton BN1 1GE from 5pm on Monday, May 15 until Wednesday, June 21. This is the first time Romain’s work has been exhibited in Brighton. For more info on his work, CLICK HERE

Tales of the Second City: Duty of Care

While certainly not the only person to take a handsome guy home from Birmingham Pride… I’m probably one of the few to leave them on the sofa for the night.

I emerged from Boltz during the dying hours of Pride. The club’s busy darkroom had been stifling and it was refreshing to pause for a moment in the light drizzle. Glancing over the road, I spotted a vaguely familiar figure slumped under a canopy at the corner of Kent Street.

He was a student whom I had briefly met a few years earlier.

I squatted in front of the lad and asked, “Are you OK?”

He looked up with bleary eyes and shook his head pitifully.

I plonked myself down next to him.

“What happened?”

“Don’t remember,” he replied. “I veeeery drrrunk.”

He had found himself separated from friends and collapsed in an intoxicated heap in this sheltered nook. The details were all a little hazy.

“Where are you meant to be staying tonight?”

“Wifffffriends… Can’t remember. Phone dead.”

He was lucky to still have his phone… and wallet for that matter.

“I live a couple of miles out of town, only ten minutes in a taxi,” I told him. “I could make you up a bed on the sofa. Would you like to stay at mine?”

He looked at me with huge sad eyes and whimpered, “Yes please.”

My heart melted.

I booked an Uber, raised him to his feet and half walked/half carried him to the pick-up point.

“Try not to look too drunk,” I warned, as our waiting car came into view, “and for God’s sake don’t throw up or pee yourself in the back of the cab!”

I sent my partner a simple text message, “I AM BRINGING HOME A STRAY!”

My automatic response to being directly asked for help is, “Certainly… as long as it doesn’t involve money.”

I have been aided on so many occasions during my own travels and misadventures that I like to return the favour when I can.

Whilst interrailing around Europe in my late teens, I was stood at a pedestrian crossing when a stranger asked if I were British then pressed a £1 coin into my palm and walked away without further comment. That coin proved to be the only currency I had (or access to, due to a debit card mishap) when I returned to the UK and found myself stranded at Euston Station after the last trains had departed. I used my lucky pound to call parents and ask them to buy me a ticket home on the first morning train.

After a restless night on the cold concourse, I found a duly purchased ticket waiting at the booking office… along with £10 in cash.

“Your father paid an extra ten pounds in Birmingham so we could give you money out of our till to buy yourself breakfast,” the ticket clerk explained.

Apparently, this was unprecedented and required phone calls to management but worked perfectly. Genius!

On another occasion, whilst on holiday in Spain, my partner and I asked a couple how to find a particular restaurant. They warned us it was on the outskirts of town, a fair walk up a steep incline, but gave clear directions how to get there.

Ten minutes into our trek, the couple pulled up alongside in their car and beckoned us in. They had remembered that the restaurant closed several months earlier and came to find us.

The girlfriend was so apologetic, “We felt terrible and didn’t want you thinking we had given you bad information on purpose.”

They kindly dropped us off at their favourite place to eat in town.

Next morning after Pride, our sofa surfing ‘stray’ awoke surprisingly chipper.

I offered coffee and arranged an Uber back into town, whilst trying (unsuccessfully) to retrieve his socks from my tenacious puppy’s jaws.

“Send me your bank details so I can pay you back for the taxis,” he insisted.

“Don’t worry about it,” I told him. “Buy me a beer sometime… and leave a good review on TripAdvisor.”

I couldn’t help wondering, would I have been so inclined to help had he been a complete stranger? Would I have offered a place to crash if I hadn’t known him from Adam? I’d like to think I would, but not sure.

I have subsequently learned of the Southside Safe Space. This initiative provides help, whatever the reason, located in the Arcadian car park every Friday and Saturday from midnight until 5.30am.

Do we all have a duty of care?

We refer to ourselves as a ‘gay community, so maybe it is the responsibility of the whole community to ensure the safety of all, treating strangers in need as we would our friends, partners and logical family.

That I was able to offer a helping hand to one so vulnerable and prevent their Pride weekend ending in strife… is something of which I am very proud.

Jill Gardiner, celebrated lesbian historian and poet, dies aged 63. Words by Jane Traies.

The lesbian historian and poet Jill Gardiner has died, aged only 63.  Probably best known for her book From the Closet to the Screen: Women at the Gateways Club 1945-85, Jill was a teacher, librarian, researcher and writer.

Born to a teacher mother and historian father, Jill had a gender-relaxed childhood, featuring both a dolls’ house and a toy fort. Her parents encouraged her to aspire to a career, and she studied history at Somerville College, Oxford, where she also discovered feminism and Spare Rib magazine. (Her journalistic career began with an article about homeless people in Oxford, for the student magazine Cherwell.)

While still at primary school, Jill had been outraged by the sacking of a teacher who had been discovered to be gay. As she grew up, she became aware of her own bisexuality but, like so many queer people at that time, felt unable to disclose or act upon it. However, when she moved to Brighton to take up her first teaching post, Jill and her landlady fell in love, and she soon discovered Brighton’s lesbian scene.

Despite having to lead a double life, Jill’s teaching career flourished: she taught history to both A Level and Access students, becoming Head of Politics, and (of course) Equal Opportunities Co-ordinator. Alongside her teaching, she wrote essays on politics and gender for Causeway Press, and a book, Women and Politics: Progress without Power?  for the Politics Association. While on a women’s walk one day, she was recruited to the Brighton Ourstory project, eventually becoming one of the editors of their book Daring Hearts: lesbian and gay lives in 50s and 60s Brighton (QueenSpark, 1992). Encouraged by the inclusive poetry scene, she also became Chair of Brighton Poets.

Jill Gardiner

Writing was Jill’s passion. From an early age, she used verse to express her undeclared love of women. Born Jill Longmate, she first adopted the pseudonym ‘Gardiner’ in 1992, in order to submit a (prize-winning) lesbian love poem to the Cardiff International competition; it was a time when her sexuality could have got her sacked from teaching. She found fiction difficult, so embarked on a social history of lesbian life in the second half of the twentieth century. From the Closet to the Screen was published in 2003 and has been in print ever since.

Jill was a familiar figure at the Women’s International Festival on Lesvos, where she wrote and performed some of her poems. In 2019, her poetry reached a wider audience when her collection With Some Wild Woman was published by Tollington Press. Before she died, she was working on a biography of the author Maureen Duffy.

Her death has come as a shock to her many friends, and is a loss to the wider lesbian community. As well as being a significant historian and poet, Jill will be remembered as a loyal and generous friend, who has been taken from us far too soon.

Jane Traies

“A celebration for 60 years, a celebration for love.” Brighton’s queerest disco dears, DJs Wildblood and Queenie, to bring 30/60 to Patterns Brighton on Sunday, April 30

Words by Kate Wildblood

Join us – Brighton’s queerest disco dears DJs Wildblood and Queenie – this coming Bank Holiday (Sunday, April 30) at Patterns for a celebration three decades in the making – a celebration for 60 years, a celebration for love. Yes, the party one autistic soul has been overthinking forever and the other trying to ignore is incoming. Finally. Thirty years of us, 60 years of Queenie.

Thirty years ago Queenie called me and asked if she and Meesh Mash could come play bongos in my club Shameless Hussies. The response was positive, the meeting saucy, and the outcome obvious. Love won. Eventually. A 30-year partnership in clubland began. Shameless Hussies, Housewife’s Choice, DJ Mag, Candy Bar, Wild Fruit, Brighton & Hove Pride, Queer Nation, Gay Times, Sunday Sundae, Audio, Patterns, DSD, Monkey, Electronic Disco, Rebel, DIVA magazine, Secret Disco, Radio Reverb, Majesty, 1BTN, Club Barbra, Traumfrau, Scene magazine, Horse Meat Disco, Risen, Camp Bliss, Love is the Message, Wild FamilyAlfresco Festival – the list, like the love, goes on.

QUEENIE & WILDBLOOD

It’s been a ball, a shining glittering disco ball. Three decades together hasn’t always been the easiest of rides. Autism, ADHD, mental health, and addiction playing their part. Long-term life isn’t always an Instagram moment but our disco family has always had our back. The DJs, the promoters, the bar staff, the tech, and the clubbers. Each has brought a grin to our lives we’ll forever treasure. 30/60 will be a celebration of our love affair with our disco community, one tune at a time.

Coming to you from Patterns, the building at the heart of our disco life, 30/60 will be a Bank Holiday Sunday session with a (insert suitable collective noun here) of DJs reflecting the many, many, many years of good times we’ve had behind the decks, in clubland, and on the airwaves. With this line-up, we just know the party will be had (HRT permitting).

From Wild Fruit to Sunday Sundae, The Zap to 1BTN, Brighton & Hove Pride to pub dancing, rave caves to cobbles, beachside terraces to 10 Marine Parade, salty arches to muddy fields, and radio bunkers to Fruity big tops, we intend to salute the soundtracks and honour the disco darlings who made our 30 years together dancing and prancing with you so special.

DJs (A-Z): Affy Go Bang (Faith) – Ben GC (South of Houston) – Chris & Dom (Sunday Almanac) – Daisha (Patterns) – Hannah Sherlock (LITM) – Helene Stokes (Seven Sins) – Leggy Reggae (1BTN) – Meesh Mash (Housewife’s Choice) – Paul Heron (Wild Fruit) – Sophie Paul (GOTI) – Suze Rosser (Bitch, Please!) – Wildblood and Queenie (Sunday Sundae).

James Ledward

30/60 is a fundraiser for Pedal People Charity and The Ledward Centre – reflecting our wish to say thanks to two wonders of Brighton LGBTQ+ community who played such a pivotal role in our lives, James Ledward (Gscene) and Freddie Bateman (Scene 22). All our DJ s are giving their time for free so we can raise as much money as possible for these two amazing charities. Please do give what you can.

To make a donation and for more info, CLICK HERE 

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