Laura Chapman considers the importance of family to LGBT+ people in recovery.
There are many factors that make substance abuse within LGBT+ communities, unique; often times, substance abuse is linked to difficult experiences in one’s childhood.
Despite advances made in legal and social spheres, coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans (LGBT+) can result in rejection from one’s family and solace can sometimes be sought in drugs. Because there are so many factors which are related to the likelihood of success during the arduous process of drug rehabilitation, LGBT+ people need to be able to count on family support.
We should begin, perhaps, by defining the term ‘family’, which does not necessarily comprise a social unit involving parents and their children.
The definition provided by Rainbowfamilies.org is more ample and, in many cases, more accurate: “Love is what makes a family, whether your family consists of blood lines, adoption or foster care, friends, neighbours, people of the same-sex or people of different sex, race or colour.”
For many people in the LGBT+ community, family is chosen; it is formed as a result of rejection and abandonment from one’s original family. Indeed, the psychological distress caused by isolation in one’s early childhood can lead to mental health and substance abuse issues, which arise in adulthood. Family can therefore be a significant trigger for continued drug use and relapse.
Many individuals feel that their family has let them down; for others, the intolerance is more subtle. Still, there may be a lingering feeling of loneliness and a sense of not being accepted and loved unconditionally.
Family systems can trigger symptoms of depression and anxiety, which in turn can cause a person to self-medicate through drug and alcohol use. Many LGBT+ people would love to have their original families involved in treatment and therapy, yet are fearful that this request will lead to further abandonment, criticism, shaming, and distance.
Families should realise that support can go a long way in increasing the likelihood of success when it comes to rehabilitation treatment. Indeed, many issues stemming from childhood need to be addressed and brought out into the open, if progress is to be made.
In therapy, family members are taught to understand the way the substance user self-identifies. Because the patient may have been rejected in their early childhood, families must understand the way the individual sees himself or herself – this includes birth, chosen gender and sexual identity.
Family should also comprehend why their loved one is in rehabilitation – what outcome is their loved one seeking? Is he or she attempting to quit drugs totally or to reduce harm by, for instance, reducing the amounts consumed, or by using drugs in a safer way than before?
There are several possible outcomes to treatment and families should report the aims pursued by the person in rehabilitation. The person in rehabilitation should not feel worthless or rejected if they do not manage to achieve their family’s goals.
Family therapy can help each member realise the maladaptive communication strategies, harmful relationship patterns and disrespected boundaries, that may have contributed to problems for everyone concerned, and increased the likelihood of substance abuse.
The goal of all individuals should not only be to help their loved one cease the abuse of substances; rather, they should also seek out new, more productive ways to resolve conflicts, express themselves, and respect others’ limits.
Finally, any support provided by families should be ongoing; each family member needs to make a sincere commitment to supporting their loved one even after immediate goals have been achieved. Some addictive drugs have very high relapse rates, so family support should be consistent.
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