This year’s LGBTQ+ Adoption and Fostering Week starts on March 4 and focuses on encouraging more LGBTQ+ people across the UK to explore adoption and fostering.
The Different Together theme for 2024 specifically calls for more LGBTQ+ people from the global majority to consider adoption and fostering. Looked-after children from minoritised ethnic groups often wait the longest for adoption and fostering placements. PACT (Parents And Children Together) is one of the largest voluntary adoption agencies in England and was rated as outstanding by Ofsted three times in a row in 2014, 2017 and 2023.
PACT adopters Steven* and his partner Michael* approached PACT following the advice of New Family Social, the UK network for LGBTQ+ adoptive and foster families.
Steven said: “PACT staff were clear with us that there would be challenges ahead but were also really positive about what we had to offer.
“We just felt really heard and understood from the start. We have always felt that PACT has been very invested in us and throughout the process we knew they were there on hand to support us if we needed it.”
The interracial couple completed the adoption and family-finding process. Originally they had planned to adopt one child but then they read about two brothers Harry,* who was 20 months old, and Leyton* who was 10 months old.
“I think he gets a lot of comfort from having physical things in common with me. We talk a lot about our hair, our skin, and how we look different and the same.”
Steven said: “Michael was really keen and just had an instinct about them from the get go. I was more reluctant, I’d always thought we’d have just one child, and suddenly we were considering two children, with just a year apart in age. I just wasn’t sure we could do it.
“We decided to see if we were a match and it turned out we were. I then remember really clearly reading the first few sentences of their report and having this intense connection with these kids and calling Michael and saying these are our boys.”
Steven went on to say that meeting the boys for the first time was a wonderful experience, but also very surreal. “It was so lovely but also just really strange to see these two tiny humans who are going to become your children but are essentially strangers. Obviously they had no concept of what was happening but we were so keen to engage with them and wanted them to warm to us.”
Both Steven and Michael love family life and being parents. Steven said: “We’re obviously still learning all the time but I think parenting did come very naturally to us, and that’s nice because it feels like we were meant to be parents.
“The transformation in our boys is just phenomenal. They have just thrived from feeling loved and secure in our lives and our home. It’s changed our lives completely too – it’s really given us a new sense of meaning and purpose. We both just want to be the best parents we can possibly be.”
Micah* who is now nearly six was adopted through PACT when he was 10 months old by his two mums, Sonya* and Alison*. When they began the adoption process, Sonya said they were keen to find an agency that demonstrated inclusive practices, particularly for LGBTQ+ and interracial families, as well as an agency that had ongoing adoption support. Sonya, who is of mixed Black Caribbean and White British ethnicity, heard about PACT from a friend who is also LGBTQ+ and Black, who had a good experience with PACT.
After progressing through the adoption process, Sonya and Alison began the family finding stage and began looking through children’s profiles. When they saw Micah’s profile, they felt they would be a good match.
Sonya said: “He has a very similar heritage to me and I felt I could support him to understand his background and his birth family. There was some comfort in knowing that we might be able to connect through similar experiences.”
Sonya continued: “His birth family also shared lots of information and in some ways reminded me of my own family. We were never too worried about being parents to a child that looks like us, but weirdly the photos on his profile looked exactly like the photos I have of myself as a baby.”
“The transformation in our boys is just phenomenal. They have just thrived from feeling loved and secure in our lives and our home.”
Reflecting on why it’s important for children to be matched with families who share a similar culture and ethnicity, Sonya said: “I think he gets a lot of comfort from having physical things in common with me. We talk a lot about our hair, our skin, and how we look different and the same.”
To anyone considering adoption as a path to parenthood, particularly any individuals or couples of Black or Black/White mixed ethnicity, Sonya said: “Go for it! Or at least join a PACT information session. It may seem daunting, but all of the best things are.”
Grace, PACT’s Adopter Diversity Recruitment Officer said: “Most people have the qualities to be a great parent. People who want to become a parent though adoption already have the skills and attributes they need to change the course of these children’s lives. We offer lifelong support and adoption is so rewarding.”
You can adopt if:
- If you are single, married or in a long term ‘live in’ relationship
- If you own your own home or rent
- If you have a disability or are managing health conditions
- If you have children, or if you have none – some people adopt multiple times
- If you are over 45
“If you are thinking about becoming a parent through adoption, or would like to know more information about adoption, we’re here to help! We’re an adoption charity and family support provider helping hundreds of people each year.”
Grace added: “We create families through adoption services and provide lifelong adoption support. Last year we found secure and loving homes for 63 children and 34% of parents who adopted through PACT identified as LGBTQ+.”
To find out more about adopting with PACT please download our Guide to Adoption from our website or call us on 0300 456 4800. Lines are open 10am-5pm on Monday, Wednesday and Friday; 10am-8pm on Tuesday and Thursday; and 10am-1pm on Saturday.
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