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Lady Gaga vs Mariah Carey: The Cookie Wars

Alex Klineberg December 4, 2020

Gaga

Lady Gaga has teamed up with Oreo to unleash Chromatica-themed cookies – this is not a sponsored post! The cookies are essentially pink oreos with a green filling and garish pink packaging. Like the Chromatica jockstrap, it’s an ingenious piece of marketing. A perfect novelty item for the festive season.

“’This collab is inspired by the world of Chromatica, where kindness rules all things. I love these pink cookies with green creme, and hope they brighten your day as much as they do mine!” Gaga said.

As we all know, the holidays are a time for family, food and increasing Mariah Carey’s net worth. Her immortal Christmas song fills the airwaves and her coffers every December.

You could imagine Mariah plotting her next move in a wintery forest, sprawled out on a festive throne. An elf tells her Lady Gaga is releasing novelty oreos in time for Christmas. Not to be outdone, Mimi instantly dispatches the elf to the factories on the edge of the forest, with instructions to begin work on Mariah’s Cookies. They are to be launched in 30 markets in collaboration with Virtual Dining Concepts.

She calls her communications elf and dictates a press release: “Yay, cookies! We love ’em….love ’em during the holidays…..love ’em all year round!!”

So now the cookie wars begin. Those of you old enough to recall Blur vs Oasis will know the score.

Both divas are riding high in 2020. Gaga wowed her Monsters with Chromatica, arguably her best album. Mariah is about to launch a Christmas special on Apple TV and All I Want For Christmas is storming back up the charts. But who will win the cookie wars? It remains to be seen if Mariah will instruct her elves to make festive jockstraps.

Gaga hasn’t announced an official release date yet.

Mariah’s Cookies will be available for order from December 4.

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