In Your Hands: The Everyman’s Guide to Masturbation by Emme Mark

January 4, 2013

inyourhandsIn Your hands by Mark Emme

With over 70,000 copies sold of this book I was looking forward to an interesting read and perhaps even pick up a few tips for the oldest male pastime in the world.

How disappointed was I? I suspect some of the 70,000 books sold were bought as a joke as it’s been a long time since I’ve read such an unedifying book. How on earth this didactic and overly complicated book, with no pictures, is supposed to be an aid to better masturbation I have no idea, unless you just use the cover model to bang one out to.

The jacket blurb promised lots of humour which was the only joke in the book, I don’t know if its been lost in translation ( the original was published in German) but the overly technical descriptions of various holds, grasps and techniques left me reeling and I didn’t experience one moment of ‘ah, so that’s how it’s done’.  A few (there’s not one) illustrations may well have helped some of these techniques.  All the exercises are written in ‘real time’ too, which is the supposed length of time they take to carry out, I failed to grasp even one of the holds and I did try hard.

Mark Emme has studied, tested and compared every possible variety of masculine self-satisfaction and if there’s a plus side then he is very positive about sex and pleasing oneself and there are lots of chapters with lots of very detailed suggestions and exercises but I didn’t find any of them easy to understand and I can put an IKEA dresser up in the dark with no instructions and an old penknife.

Emme’s looks at the reasons for erectile dysfunction and does attempt to give detailed instructions on how to revive and restore your erections; he also does the same with his ideas and suggestions around prolonging erections and delaying orgasm. He also shares some good mental techniques for relaxing and insights into gaining confidence on your sexual performance.

I’ve reviewed a few sex guides this week and this is easily the driest of the lot, however if a very technical guidebook with precise labour-intensive instructions on how to maintain erection, or sustain and/or delay ejaculation is what you’re after then perhaps this book it what you are looking for.  You may just have an unrealised Meccano fetish though.

Out now £12.99

From Bruno Gmunder

For more info see the BG website here: