Waking up to privilege is good for your mental health.
CORAL was shocked. She had never thought of herself as āprivilegedā. She had grown up in Blackburn, her mum and dad worked and had eventually bought their council house, they definitely werenāt wealthy, so no privilege there. She went to the comprehensive school, did nurse training and had worked full-time until she got too ill. She thought of herself as working class. To her, privilege meant the 1% with lives of luxury and assumptions of entitlement.
She had started going to MindOut after her first severe depression. She joined a peer support group as she realised that it was important to talk to other people about mental health and there was no way she would go to a group that was not LGBT+.
Coral had been an āoutā lesbian since her early twenties, sheād lived in London before moving to Brighton for work. Sheād had a mixed bunch of friends over the years and had met loads of people as a nurse as well. But it wasnāt until she came to MindOut that she realised she had never really had any close friends who were people of colour.
Race, culture, ethnicity were all discussed in the group she joined. Three out of the eight members were from different ethnic backgrounds, with five being white British. Ā Some of what was discussed was very new for Coral, stuff she had never considered.
Coral had struggled with shame about her sexuality, had problems with her family, especially her mother and older sister. She knew how careful you had to be in certain places at certain times, she had felt afraid, isolated, fearful because of her gender and her sexuality. She was angry sometimes, resigned sometimes. She knew it was hard for young people and worried about what it would be like to be older. But she had never wondered what it was like to be a person of colour and LGBT+, not until now.
In the group meetings, she learnt so much from hearing different stories. The similar and different experiences everyone had of heteronormative culture and society, the binary gender expectations, the stigma, prejudice and discrimination. What was new here for Coral was the realisation that although she was dealing with a huge amount of prejudice from those close to her as well as society at large, she had not had to deal with the extra racial prejudice that others in the group faced day in, day out.
She realised she had never really cared to find out what other peopleās lives were like, she regretted it and resolved to make up for lost time. She was amazed at the resilience and empowerment people shared, how much there was to gain from talking.
She was shocked too, to realise just how much racism there was in LGBT+Ā communities. She read a new Stonewall report which had found that: āJust over half of all black, Asian and minority ethnic LGBT people (51%) report experiencing discrimination or poor treatment within their local LGBT network because of their ethnicity. This number rises to three in five black LGBT people (61%).ā She tried to imagine what that must be like. She had felt excluded from some LGBT+Ā venues, women who looked like she did were not always welcome, was that the same? Sheād been in venues full of gay men and felt out-of-place, alone, wished she hadnāt gone, was that the same?
Coral wanted to understand more and wanted to do something. She set about examining the ways in which she was privileged by being white British. What she could count on in her daily life that a black lesbian of her age just could not assume. It was painful. Walking in someone elseās shoes is not easy. She talked about it in the group, asked for advice and suggestions. Peopleās reactions were mixed, some appreciated the effort, some found it frustrating that they were being asked to educate others on how difficult their lives were.
Coral asked group members who their black LGBT+Ā icons were and suggestions came from all sides: Janelle Monae, Audre Lorde, Lady Phyll, Toni Morrison, Marsha P Johnson, andĀ James Baldwin. She resolved to educate herself, to talk to her friends and family, to call out racism, to examine her own prejudices and biases.
She had not expected this from joining a mental health support group. She had gone wanting to be heard by others who understood, to be supported in her personal struggles, to come to greater understanding of her own feelings and behaviours. She had found all of that, and more. She had found that she could be part of creating better, more inclusive, more aware communities.
MindOut INFO
MindOut peer support groups offer safe, welcoming, affirmative, confidential space for people to share, support and learn from each other. We run groups on themes from time to time including BAME, suicide prevention, trans and non-binary, womenās, menās, over 50s and Work It Out for people in employment. Our groups are free and facilitated by āoutā LGBT+ mental health workers.
Alongside the group work service, we also offer advice and information, advocacy, counselling, peer mentoring, online out of hours support, crisis support, anti-stigma campaigning and training for mental health professionals.
For more information, please:
ā¢ See our website: www.mindout.org.ukĀ
ā¢ Email us: info@mindout.org.uk
ā¢ Call us: 01273 234839
Tell Your Story at the MindOut Living Library!Ā
ā¢ Be a book for a day: Talk one-to-one to readers about your book title and respond to any questions they may have about your lived experience. Examples of titles include: black lesbian parent, genderqueer, gay man with anorexia, bipolar, refugee, depression, self-harm, anxiety, partner of a trans person, living with HIV, suicidal.
ā¢ Be an Assistant Librarian for a day: Help support the smooth running of the event by explaining the ground rules to each reader and book, introducing readers to their books and ensuring both have good support.
For more information or to sign up, please contact:
emma.crossland@mindout.org.ukĀ
or call 01273 234 839
ā¢ Mondays: October 22ā29, 1ā5pm at Brighton University, Falmer Campus.
ā¢Ā Training session: Fri, October 12, 5.30-7.30pm
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