The Ledward Centre (TLC), Brighton & Hove’s LGBTQ+ centre in Jubilee Street, is hosting the Brighton & Hove Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) Book Club’s first meet on August 31 @ 19:00 – 20:30.
The ENM bookclub is a monthly event focusing on books with a theme of alternative relationship structures that aren’t monogamous.
Ethical Non-Monogamy is an agreement between partners that they can pursue romantic and/or sexual interests outside of their existing relationship. In practice, partners communicate their needs and desires whilst agreeing on boundaries. The consensual nature of the agreement is what makes it ‘Ethical’ as opposed to ‘Unethical’ (AKA cheating).
Alternative relationship structures can take many forms like polyamory, swinging, group sex, friends with benefits, romantic friendships. You don’t need a partner to identify as ENM, similar in that you can identify as lesbian / gay / bi / straight / queer even if you’re not in a relationship.
Most people’s motivation to practise ENM is to express their authentic selves and be truthful about their feelings of attraction to others. It often involves focusing on sex positivity whilst exploring and understanding jealousy, communication, and connection.
Research is beginning to show that our propensity to love and be attracted to multiple people at the same time may be a core part of our sexuality and equally as strong, valid and significant as sexual orientation.
In fact, approximately 12% of folks have practised ENM at some point in their lives, 32% are open to an ENM lifestyle, and it’s gaining in popularity: 31% of baby boomers would consider ENM of some form compared to 57% of millennials!
ENM is even gaining more airtime on TV: You might have seen shows like You Me Her (Netflix), Trigonometry (BBC), Wanderlust (BBC & Netflix), Open House (Channel 4).
Yet despite the increase in popularity, ENM remains heavily stigmatised, misunderstood and lacking support within sexual and mental health services. Many sexual health clinicians are unaware what ENM or polyamory are, and only a small minority of counsellors and therapists have knowledge and expertise of alternative relationships structures. This means patients need to educate their sexual and mental health specialists – which arguably shouldn’t be a patient’s responsibility.
Given the existing stigma and lack of education for ENM whilst its uptake and interest increases, creating spaces to discuss alternative relationship structures has never been more important.
The Brighton & Hove ENM Book Club hopes to become a regular space where ENM folks, those curious, and allies can come together to discuss the writings of authors and to share our own experiences, challenges, and excitements, whilst supporting one another and making new friends. Huge thank you to The Ledward Centre for sharing their beautiful space.
If you’d like to learn more and/or join the ENM Book Club, check out our Instagram @ENMBrighton or if you’ve sworn off Social Media then drop an email to ENMBrighton@gmail.com
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