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Day: October 7, 2018

OPINION: I Have A Phobia – does it ever return?

Posted on by Ray A-J

Can your phobia ever really disappear? Asks Ray A-J.

Fear has left me
With battle scars for comfort
A mere memory of a face
That once haunted my brain
Tormented my head
Filled it with worry and dread
Forms the breaks in my skin
There forever
Reminding me to stay away
Despite not feeling the same pain
That scared me stiff
Made me cry, wailing tears
Eyes full of mist,
I still look away,
Feel my mind draw me to safety
Each time a film he has graced
Appears on the screen,
Not from fear
Mind
But from distaste and disfavour
I know, the idea is still there
I don’t like his face, but I’m not scared, 
I wouldn’t choose to watch him on-screen 
But if by surprise 
He appeared in front of me
I wouldn’t run, breakdown, nor cry, 
I would merely shake his hand 
And say
Once you would scare me, 
But not today. 

It’s been five whole months since I was released from my fear. Five months since I sat in a room, and relived my harrowing memory of seeing the character Peter Pettigrew, from the Harry Potter series, for the first time. And it’s been the most free five months of my life.

Around five months ago, I experienced a different type of therapy, to free myself of a phobia that I’d suffered from for 13 excruciating years. In order to cast out my consuming fear of the actor Timothy Spawl, and his rat-man character Peter Pettigrew (who I first saw when I was an overly imaginative five-year-old), I had to go through a therapy known as Emotional Freedom Technique.

I had to sit in a room with a life coach, emerge myself in the petrifying memory of that twisted rodent man’s face, feel every urge to run away, and live in that feeling until I could release it from my body forever. It was just an hour of my life, and yet it felt like it had saved the rest of it from constant terror. But, despite the relief of my phobia being left at the door of that room, five months later, I still can’t forget my fear. Not entirely.

It was a Friday night, and I’d just got back from a show. Before the therapy, I’d have been terrified by the darkness that surrounded me as I walked home. But not now. For once I was able to waltz through the dark streets without suddenly seeing that rat’s face in every little thing I passed. I didn’t have to twist and turn, and look over my shoulder in case he was there behind me. It was a relief.

As I approached the door of my house, I felt a burning sense of courage shoot through me. For months after my Emotional Freedom Technique therapy, I found I could actually walk through the halls, the rooms, in the dark without the constant fear of Peter Pettigrew being in every corner. The courage only burned brighter as I walked through my house and over to the TV. I hadn’t had to over-analyse each and every show or film, always waiting for the moment that a rat-faced character would appear every time I was met with a TV, in five months. It was great.

So I flipped the TV on, and who was on the screen blaring out right in front of me? Timothy Spawl.

As it happened, the film The King’s Speech was on TV that night. And, as my mum walked into the living room where the TV was screaming the image of Timothy Spawl (he was playing Winston Churchill), she let out the singular word that used to amplify my fears: “Oh!” 

Before the therapy, that word coupled with the look of concern that clung to her face would have instantly enhanced my fear. The fact that she was worried, and thought I’d need support, used to make my scared mind think there was a real reason to fear for my life. If she was concerned, there must be something to worry about.

But this time was different. My body, as if out of habit, desperately clawed at my memories, trying to pull up my trigger and start the panic attacks that used to plague me. Yet nothing could be found. I felt nothing. There was no memory to call upon, no feeling of fear. All my body was met with was a blunt nothingness. I wasn’t scared. My mum looked at me astounded by my lack of response.

“Do you think you’d be able to watch the film, if he’s in it?” she asked. If I wasn’t scared, then I could watch the film, surely? There would be no threat holding me back. And yet, something was blocking me from watching that film. It was as if my reflexes had kicked in, shouting in my ear not to watch it if I didn’t have to. I wasn’t scared, but I knew I didn’t like his face still. I knew I didn’t want to see his face, especially if I didn’t have to.

My fear had left me with a dull scar, not a bleeding wound, but something that subtly reminds me of the terror I once had. It doesn’t burn, it doesn’t hurt, but this empty blemish has become a souvenir of sorts to remind me that, if I can get over the worst fear I have ever had, I can do anything. And if I ever was to meet the source of all the panic and terror that had poisoned me, I truly think I’d be okay. So the effect of a phobia can disappear, but you’ll never truly forget the fact that you once had it.

FEATURE: MindOut – walking in someone else’s shoes is not easy

Posted on by Besi

Waking up to privilege is good for your mental health.

CORAL was shocked. She had never thought of herself as ‘privileged’. She had grown up in Blackburn, her mum and dad worked and had eventually bought their council house, they definitely weren’t wealthy, so no privilege there. She went to the comprehensive school, did nurse training and had worked full-time until she got too ill. She thought of herself as working class. To her, privilege meant the 1% with lives of luxury and assumptions of entitlement.

She had started going to MindOut after her first severe depression. She joined a peer support group as she realised that it was important to talk to other people about mental health and there was no way she would go to a group that was not LGBT+.

Coral had been an ‘out’ lesbian since her early twenties, she’d lived in London before moving to Brighton for work. She’d had a mixed bunch of friends over the years and had met loads of people as a nurse as well. But it wasn’t until she came to MindOut that she realised she had never really had any close friends who were people of colour.

Race, culture, ethnicity were all discussed in the group she joined. Three out of the eight members were from different ethnic backgrounds, with five being white British.  Some of what was discussed was very new for Coral, stuff she had never considered.

Coral had struggled with shame about her sexuality, had problems with her family, especially her mother and older sister. She knew how careful you had to be in certain places at certain times, she had felt afraid, isolated, fearful because of her gender and her sexuality. She was angry sometimes, resigned sometimes. She knew it was hard for young people and worried about what it would be like to be older. But she had never wondered what it was like to be a person of colour and LGBT+, not until now.

In the group meetings, she learnt so much from hearing different stories. The similar and different experiences everyone had of heteronormative culture and society, the binary gender expectations, the stigma, prejudice and discrimination. What was new here for Coral was the realisation that although she was dealing with a huge amount of prejudice from those close to her as well as society at large, she had not had to deal with the extra racial prejudice that others in the group faced day in, day out.

She realised she had never really cared to find out what other people’s lives were like, she regretted it and resolved to make up for lost time. She was amazed at the resilience and empowerment people shared, how much there was to gain from talking.

She was shocked too, to realise just how much racism there was in LGBT+ communities. She read a new Stonewall report which had found that: ‘Just over half of all black, Asian and minority ethnic LGBT people (51%) report experiencing discrimination or poor treatment within their local LGBT network because of their ethnicity. This number rises to three in five black LGBT people (61%).’ She tried to imagine what that must be like. She had felt excluded from some LGBT+ venues, women who looked like she did were not always welcome, was that the same? She’d been in venues full of gay men and felt out-of-place, alone, wished she hadn’t gone, was that the same?

Coral wanted to understand more and wanted to do something. She set about examining the ways in which she was privileged by being white British. What she could count on in her daily life that a black lesbian of her age just could not assume. It was painful. Walking in someone else’s shoes is not easy. She talked about it in the group, asked for advice and suggestions. People’s reactions were mixed, some appreciated the effort, some found it frustrating that they were being asked to educate others on how difficult their lives were.

Coral asked group members who their black LGBT+ icons were and suggestions came from all sides: Janelle Monae, Audre Lorde, Lady Phyll, Toni Morrison, Marsha P Johnson, and James Baldwin. She resolved to educate herself, to talk to her friends and family, to call out racism, to examine her own prejudices and biases.

She had not expected this from joining a mental health support group. She had gone wanting to be heard by others who understood, to be supported in her personal struggles, to come to greater understanding of her own feelings and behaviours. She had found all of that, and more. She had found that she could be part of creating better, more inclusive, more aware communities.

MindOut INFO
MindOut peer support groups offer safe, welcoming, affirmative, confidential space for people to share, support and learn from each other. We run groups on themes from time to time including BAME, suicide prevention, trans and non-binary, women’s, men’s, over 50s and Work It Out for people in employment. Our groups are free and facilitated by ‘out’ LGBT+ mental health workers.

Alongside the group work service, we also offer advice and information, advocacy, counselling, peer mentoring, online out of hours support, crisis support, anti-stigma campaigning and training for mental health professionals.

For more information, please:
• See our website: www.mindout.org.uk 
• Email us: info@mindout.org.uk
• Call us: 01273 234839

Tell Your Story at the MindOut Living Library! 
• Be a book for a day: Talk one-to-one to readers about your book title and respond to any questions they may have about your lived experience. Examples of titles include: black lesbian parent, genderqueer, gay man with anorexia, bipolar, refugee, depression, self-harm, anxiety, partner of a trans person, living with HIV, suicidal.
• Be an Assistant Librarian for a day: Help support the smooth running of the event by explaining the ground rules to each reader and book, introducing readers to their books and ensuring both have good support.

For more information or to sign up, please contact:
emma.crossland@mindout.org.uk 
or call 01273 234 839

• Mondays: October 22–29, 1–5pm at Brighton University, Falmer Campus.
• Training session: Fri, October 12, 5.30-7.30pm

REVIEW: COCK @Minerva Theatre, Chichester

Posted on by Brian Butler

Mike Bartlett is a Premier League playwright, equally at home on stage with the award-winning comedy King Charles III to his tv hits Dr Foster and Press.

AND in this revival of his play COCK, he doesn’t disappoint. It’s a love triangle with very sharp edges and a twist and a half. John has been with his boyfriend for 7 years but as the play opens, he considers it to be over between them. So he leaves.

Only to return in split seconds in imaginary stage time with shattering news – he’s met a girl and slept with her.

And in the next 90 minutes we  go back and forth in time to explore in a very funny vein the tangled relationships that John has imposed upon himself.

Bartlett imposes strict limits on his cast. No scenery, no props, no sitting down, no miming of activities – all within a floor space with a red-painted hexagon upon its surface.

The 4 actors growl and prowl around its edges – like boxers squaring each other up. Indeed Bartlett says the inspiration for the play’s format came after watching cock fights and a bull-fight.

Luke Thallon plays John as a lovely likeable but totally spineless guy who can’t decide who he is or what he wants. Matthew Needham as the frustrated and beleaguered boyfriend plays the manipulative bully with great energy and bitchiness, which is terrific to watch and identify with.

The bf is intent on keeping hold of his partner by belittling him. It’s a tactic that collapses when Isabella Laughland comes on the scene. She is gentle, feral, but in the end equally manipulative, adding to John’s dilemma.

So Hamlet-like, John decides not to decide between their competing demands on him. Simon Chandler suddenly appears as the boyfriend’s father – a kind of deus ex machina, come to sort it all out and ultimately failing.

It’s telling that this human cockfight has a boxing ring style bell to separate its lightning fast scenes. And it’s also telling that John is the only character named – the others are just called M,  F and W.

Do the other 3 characters actually exist ? Could they just be manifestations of different parts of John’s character or figments of his imagination ?

Bartlett doesn’t let us know. Throughout the acting is high-octane, energetic, fresh, adult and the words ring clear and true. We believe every word the people say, while knowing much of it is probably is not what it seems.

If it’s confusing in its message about identity, gender and labelling, this play about the games people play truly holds the mirror up to nature. It gets 5 stars for all that.

Cock runs at the Minerva Theatre, Chichester until, October 27.

Reviewed by Brian Butler

English Disco Lovers to stage fundraising Masked Fireworks Ball

Posted on by Besi

The English Disco Lovers Community Group return to Brighton Komedia, on Saturday, November 3, Fireworks weekend for a firecracker of a fundraising disco night to benefit Brighton Women’s Centre (BWC)!

DISCO Lovers resident DJs Sam Moffett and Spikey Kingston will be playing superb audio sparklers with classic and underground disco and house music, and a huge excess of glitter.

Dress code: ‘Disco Masquerade’. If you don’t have a mask, the glitter crew will be on hand to paint you one!

Enlish Disco Lovers will be raising funds at this event for Brighton Women’s Centre, and as well as all glitter stall proceeds, they will be making a donation to BWC for every mask wearer!

Event: English Disco Lovers – Masked Fireworks Ball

Where: Komedia, Gardener Street, Brighton BN11UN

When: Saturday, November 3

Time: 10.30pm-3am

Cost: Advanced tickets £9 more on the door

To book online, click here:

LGBT+ conference in Lebanon threatened by security forces

Posted on by Besi

On September 29, Lebanese security forces from the General Security Directorate shut down a regional gender rights conference in Beirut, Lebanon.

THE conference, known as NEDWA, is organised annually by the Arab Foundation for Freedoms and Equality (AFE) and brings together over 100 activists from the Arabic-speaking Middle East and North Africa region.

General Security officers responded to a complaint filed by the group Hay’at Al-Oulamaa el Mouslimin (Association of Muslim Scholars) who had issued a statement accusing the conference of promoting perversion and drug use, and called for the conference to be cancelled on grounds of “incitement to immorality.”

Jessica Stern
Jessica Stern

Jessica Stern, Executive Director of OutRight Action International, the International Human Rights campaigning organisation, who was at the conference said: “In spite of ten years of positive court decisions, there have been several attacks on the basic rights of the LGBT+ community’s freedom of association over the past year. The crackdown on LGBT+ organisations is serious and the international community has to speak out.”

General Security forces initially tried to pressure Georges Azzi, Executive Director of AFE, to sign a document that he would cancel all activities related to the event. When he refused, General Security forces informed the hotel management that they were shutting down the conference. The security forces also took down the names, details and passport copies of all attendees.

Attempts by the General Security forces to shut down the conference violate multiple human rights, including but not limited to, rights to assembly and freedom of expression.

Georges Azzi
Georges Azzi

Georges Azzi, Executive Director of AFE, commented on the incident saying: “These kinds of attacks are expected, there is no activism without risks, but we need to be more prepared, stay united and help each other to stand up and continue the fight.”

Lebanon is known to be the most liberal place to be LGBT+ in the region, however security forces have recently escalated their attack on LGBT+ rights in the country.

The General Security Directorate also shut down events that marked the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia in 2017 and events for Beirut Pride earlier this year in June.

AFE managed to find a new hotel to hold the rest of the conference, though attendees were shaken by the incident. Many attendees came from even more repressive environments for LGBT+ people and feared arrest or persecution upon their return home.

To read Jessica Stern’s full account of her personal experience at the event, click here:

Trans guidance for schools tackles stereotyping and keeping children safe

Posted on by Besi

Tackling out dated language and assumptions about behaviour based on gender is beneficial for all children – Gender stereotypes are old-fashioned and create unnecessary barriers.

THESE messages are central to the latest edition of the Trans Inclusion Schools Toolkit, launched last week and soon to be shared with schools across the city.

The toolkit is part of wide programme of equality work in local schools. The council works in partnership with schools, charities and community groups to prevent and respond to all forms of bullying and discrimination – they aim is to support schools to create safe learning environments.

Originally published in 2014, the toolkit offers practical advice about how to help vulnerable young people questioning their identity or who’ve identified as trans.

The guidance is prepared in consultation with key partner Allsorts Youth Project, other LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans) organisations, and local schools.

The toolkit covers guidance on topics such as gender stereotyping, language, clothing, name changes, safeguarding, confidentiality, toilet provision, special educational needs, pronoun use and changing facilities for sports. There is also an extensive glossary explaining many trans related definitions.

The toolkit is used by schools, along with other policies such as safeguarding, in the best interests of all in the school community and recommends schools engage actively with parents, children and staff on these issues.

Cllr Emma Daniel
Cllr Emma Daniel

Cllr Emma Daniel, lead councillor for neighbourhoods and inclusion, said: “I am dedicated to creating an inclusive city where all children feel safe and secure. Supporting vulnerable young people is a vital part of our work. We are proud of the equality work which has already had great results but know there is more we can and will need to do in the future.  

“The aim of the toolkit is to keep all children safe, not only trans children. All children benefit from an environment that challenges gender stereotypes and allows each child to be proud of who they are.

“A small number of children struggle with gender identity and this can be from a very young age. If trans children don’t get support and understanding they may hurt themselves and refuse school. I believe children deserve to be safe and have access to education.

“This isn’t new. Schools across the city are welcoming and inclusive. The updated toolkit is one element of a wide range of guidance used to ensure the welfare and safety of all pupils.

“Our toolkit is useful and supports schools to be safe places for every child and where every child is able to access the full curriculum and extra curricula activities. That has to be the right approach. We can and will help those in need.” 

There is also a legal reason to take responsibility in providing guidance for schools. The Equality Act 2010 protects anyone undergoing or proposing to undergo gender reassignment from discrimination. A pupil is legally protected from discrimination when they are taking steps to live as the opposite gender or proposing to do so.

There is no national record of numbers of trans children and young people. However the Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS), the only centre for children and adolescents in England, has seen referrals increase year on year. In 2016, GIDS received 1,398 referrals. Although there is no information on how many trans pupils are in schools in Brighton & Hove, the guidance is sent to all schools so they can consider the issues in the context of the whole school.

A parent’s experience of the Trans Inclusion Schools Toolkit by

A Mum to a trans child in Brighton & Hove explains her experience as a parent of the Trans Inclusion Schools Toolkit 

“Everyone knows there’s no such thing as a Parents’ Handbook. When we have children we take a leap of faith and rely on the support of friends and family to guide us and support us as they grow.

“When my child told me he was trans everything changed. Suddenly my friends and family had no relevant experience, instead they had questions and challenged us on our supportive approach. We knew next to nothing about being trans and worked hard to educate ourselves on what it meant, how it can happen, and how we should be.

“We often felt lonely, isolated and under intense scrutiny from our community. We were fiercely protective of our child, but didn’t really know how to protect them, what was the most loving approach, or what was legal.

“Coming out to friends and family was a necessary step and although most people were supportive the challenging questions rocked our wavering confidence. It was emotionally exhausting, but we had a child who was certain and excited about their future and showed no fear in pushing ahead.

“When we approached school to let them know he was ready to socially transition at school they were supportive, but full of questions. Our child was their first trans pupil and they wanted us to let them know how they could help us. Quite honestly at this point we did not have the strength or certainty to know what was best for our child. We were lost at a time when we needed to be the ones with the answers.

“Then along came the Trans Inclusion Schools Toolkit. It was such a relief to read some clearly thought out advice on how to handle situations such as changing for PE, using the toilet and behaviour. Our child has been in three different schools and each time the school has used the Toolkit extremely effectively to understand how they can support not only our child, but other students.

“In his most recent school the effect of this has been that he has felt fully included and safe in school and is now accessing education after many months of school refusal. The whole process has been quicker and I cannot emphasise what a relief it is to feel like we are all in the hands of experts across many different organisations who have many years of experience in both education and in supporting young LGBT+ people.

“The Trans Inclusion Schools Toolkit has enabled parents and educators to quickly, simply and legally see how all children can be supported in schools. Without it I suspect our son would be unable to access mainstream education. With it he is thriving, and accessing his lessons which is incredibly important for vulnerable students.

“His experiences of being trans combined with the gift of education means he is determined to use all of his talents as a working adult to make his community a better place. We are very grateful to everyone at Allsorts and Brighton & Hove City Council for their part in writing and producing the Toolkit.”

 

City Council asks for help in catching flytipping criminals

Posted on by Besi

Brighton and Hove City Council asks local residents to help track down the criminals who dumped the biggest fly tip in living memory beside a primary school in Whitehawk.

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TWO men were witnessed speeding up Whitehawk Hill Road in a white tipper truck at 9.30 on Wednesday evening. They dumped 2.5 tonnes of rubble, old cupboards, bin bags, paint tins and other rubbish along a 100 metre stretch of road and path near St John the Baptist Primary School.

The men were seen driving at speed with the tipper raised while their piles of rubbish slid from the lorry onto the road. They then raced up a narrow path towards allotments, as more garbage flew off the back of the raised truck.  

Earlier in the day, around 3pm, two men were seen in the same white tipper truck looking around the area. The number plates were covered, and it’s believed they were ‘casing the joint’ to return later and dump their rubbish.

The council estimate the clear up will cost council taxpayers more than £6,000.

Cllr Gill Mitchell
Cllr Gill Mitchell

Cllr Gill Mitchell, chair of the council’s environment, transport and sustainability committee, said: “This is the worst flytipping crime anyone can remember in the city and I want these criminals to know we will not stop until we find who they are. 

“When we do, we will take them to court and secure a prosecution. We will do everything in our powers to ensure they face the full force of the law.”

The flytipping has now been removed, and staff from the council’s Cityclean team are sifting through the rubbish for any evidence that will lead them to the lawbreakers.

Council staff are also talking to local residents who may have information on the rogues and also scanning CCTV in a bid to track the vehicle. 

Cllr Mitchell added: “Everyone is absolutely shocked by these arrogant and totally uncaring villains who would carry out an act like this, especially beside a primary school, sheltered housing and in a neighbourhood that has a tight-knit community.” 

If you have any information call the council’s environmental enforcement team on 01273 294377.

 

Flytipper fined £400 for dumping rubbish on Brighton street

Posted on by Besi

A Brighton resident who left piles of rubbish on the pavement near her home is fined a total of £400 for flytipping.

Miss Christine Togher, of 66 Saunders Park View, was issued with a fixed penalty notice (FPN) after council environmental enforcement officers caught her dumping empty cardboard boxes, a laundry basket, kids toys, cutlery, a cheese grater, pans and a load of other unwanted junk on the street.

Miss Togher claimed at Brighton Magistrates she had left the rubbish because the bins had not been emptied, however, council officers produced evidence which showed her claims to be untrue.

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Miss Togher was taken to court after failing to pay the £300 fine within 28 days. She was caught as some of the items left, like boxes, clearly showed her name and address.

The case was heard in court the day after the council’s enforcement officers, 3GS, launched an investigation into what they described as the largest fly tip in living memory in the city, at Whitehawk Hill Road.

In this case 2.5 tonnes of rubbish was tipped onto the street by a dumping truck which cost council tax payers £6,000 to be cleaned up.

Cllr Gill Mitchell
Cllr Gill Mitchell

Cllr Gill Mitchell, chair of the city’s environment, transport and sustainability committee, said: “Both these flytipping incidents show both scales of the problem the council faces in tackling flytipping.
 
“One by a resident who thinks they can simply leave piles of their rubbish on the street and walk away, and another by an organised gang who collect other peoples unwanted rubbish and debris, charge them to remove it and then dump it wherever they want thinking they’ll get away with it.
 
“We’ve already caught and prosecuted Miss Togher and we are carrying out a thorough investigation to capture the gang who wreaked havoc on Whitehawk Hill Road on Wednesday evening and Thursday morning.”

Miss Togher was fined £120 and was ordered to pay costs of £250 and a victim surcharge of £30.

New report questions if STPs can deliver integrated care for people with HIV

Posted on by Besi

NAT (National AIDS Trust) publish new report entitled HIV and Integrated Care – Can STPs deliver?.

SUSTAINABILITY and Transformation Partnerships (STPs) have been tasked by the NHS with improving the integration of services and care around the individual patient and local populations.

Effective healthcare begins with the needs of individual patient (whole person care) rather than with the convenience of the separate elements of the healthcare system. It has to be integrated and joined up.

In this report, NAT set out to establish whether STPs can in fact deliver improved integrated care for people living with HIV. The report, detail the NAT findings on the opportunities that arise from STPs and how to use them to improve outcomes.

Yusef Azad
Yusef Azad

Yusef Azad, Director of Strategy at NAT, said: “We know that currently integration across the entire healthcare system is not where it should be. This lack of integration is especially detrimental to an ageing population of people living with HIV, taking into consideration the higher rates of co-morbidity they will experience. It is vital that the HIV clinic, the GP, other hospital services and social care are all talking to each other and planning together around the needs of the individual living with HIV.

“Our report will support local HIV stakeholders to approach their STPs, to start those vital conversations about integrated care. NAT believes STPs have potential to secure such improvements.”

NAT (National AIDS Trust) is the UK’s leading charity dedicated to transforming society’s response to HIV, providing provide fresh thinking, expertise and practical resources. They champion the rights of people living with HIV and campaign for change.

To download the report in full, click here:

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