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OPINION: Craig’s Thoughts – We all belong.

Or the quest for a tribe. Part two by Craig Hanlon-Smith  @craigscontinuum

IS THAT my tribe? The awkwardly tall and equally gangly 14-year-old asks himself as he attends an open audition for the local youth theatre’s production of West Side Story. Youth theatre probably saved my life and that is no exaggeration. It’s not that I was suddenly surrounded by Milly, Molly and Mandy and we were homo-snogging behind the costume cupboard – far from it. I did meet boys who identified as bisexual but no one dared openly ‘do’ anything about the homo-side of that. This was 1986 and the age of sexual consent for homosexual men would remain at 21 until 1994 and then 18 until the year 2000, in short, rummaging around in another boys pants was illegal and, besides, homos got AIDS which meant that no one would openly admit to being the full twisted tiara.

These were the beautiful beginnings of a freedom in being surrounded by other boys who wanted to dance and sing and recite classical poetry without getting the shit kicked out of them on the number 37. Standing in the wings during a mammoth production of West Side Story, and impersonating the girls onstage dancing the cha cha, was considered normal behaviour executed by the majority. It was an amazing and casual freedom I didn’t once take for granted, life began. This was definitely a tribe of sorts and, although a mere four miles away, an entire universe apart from high school misery.

There was still a forced performance both on stage and off amongst us all, keen to demonstrate that there was no other boy as heteronormative as I, faking membership to the only acceptable tribe on the menu, longing to slot in, unnoticed. A residential trip to an arts festival in Ilfracombe consisted of enthusiastic public performances by day, then lacklustre bunk bed swapping by night. Flaccid uninterested penis gyrating clumsily against equally disinterested prickly bush, and then a different variety of lady garden shrub each subsequent evening. I dined out on my pretended heterosexual prowess for months sacrificing the age old ‘what goes on tour stays on tour’ for my own deceitful straight-ish disguise. I couldn’t possibly be gay, I was all over the nether-regions of three babes this time last week. A dishonest commitment to the tribe, nay betrayal, and, although it felt ugly, what price was there to put upon hiding the homo within.

Running away to London could be the only possibly way to save me, not the awkwardly dysfunctional teenager I was growing to dislike immensely, but the gregarious sequined soul I knew lay locked away. A summer bus journey to see Madonna’s Blond Ambition tour at Wembley Stadium, alone (who would come with me?), only confirmed the autumn plan. Surrounded by groups of fat, thin, muscled, wobbly, tall, short, gangly, gorgeous groups of happy folk, all drawn together by the poptastic and half-naked writhings of one woman was temporary tribe enough.

And so, under the misapprehension that living in London would be exactly like a Madonna show, in September 1990 I decamped to London and immersed myself in a tribe of young people faking academic interest in their chosen university studies but having a ball in their collective independence.

At the height of the AIDS crisis, and attending a university with a militant lesbian student union president, we’re surrounded by homoerotic and sensual safe sex publicity. You can have sex with gay people and it isn’t going to kill you? This was a revelation. These images of men lovingly, sexually and intensely locked in one another’s embrace were akin to a world war recruitment campaign; where do I sign?

An immediate tribe and I knew I was a member, but long since embedded fear is a powerful deterrent. Despite surrounded by the open encouragement to engage in homosex as swiftly as possible, and engage I did, this was always in secret. We’re still 25 years from Grindr. If you’re a repressed homosexual with a burning desire to get your hands into the tribe, but too terrified to walk inside a gay bar, what if someone you know sees you? And once you’re in what happens when you need to use the toilet?

Waiting opposite and outside for kicking out time for the equally desperate and drunk to drag you behind the bins for a hand-job is the only option for meeting people. No chat, no smiles, just grabs and grunts and, occasionally, smells that lead to retching, it is of course nothing like the student union poster. In a desperate plea for cuddles and some sense of normality it’s back to the girlfriends by day and bin smelling blow-jobs by night.

Craig Hanlon-Smith
Craig Hanlon-Smith

And so to another three years of this yo-yo secret grubby gaying and pretended heteronormative companions, not to mention a heterosexual promiscuity that was off the scale. If I just keep shagging the women, I can f**k the gay away, right? Except the only way to reach an orgasm during these hetero hysterical humpings is to think of the smelly dude from last week in that skip yanking at me as a plumber with a monkey wrench. As tribes go… anyone else in?

It would take another Madonna show at Wembley Stadium to kick-start the final phase, only this time the now 21-year-old is saddened by his behaviour in the company of men hanging on each other’s necks with a familiarity that suggests a normality with one of the same gender is not merely a possibility, but a realistic goal. There is pride in their public displays of affection, acceptance in the cheeky bottom smacks and pinches, warmth in their clearly not bro-hugs, and confidence in their lived experience.

The repressed homosexual bursts into tears and the sight of our lady straddling a giant disco ball and wrapped in a feather boa singing Express Yourself, but he knows who his tears are really for.

To be continued…

OPINION: Sam Trans Man – What is gender?

Dr Samuel Hall
Dr Samuel Hall

Dr Samuel Hall on the differences between gender and its ‘concrete counterpart’ – sex.

ONCE A year in July the Gscene issue is given over to all things trans… I love it. This year even more so because the editor is encouraging us to talk about gender. And gender is my favourite subject.

Gender dysphoria has dominated my life thus far, and gender injustice has become my biggest passion. Gender is so poorly understood, so misused and so artificial, it’s extraordinary how much of an influence it actually has on each of us, and the societies and communities in which we live.

What is gender then? We all think we know, but in reality there’s a huge amount of confusion between gender, and its concrete biological counterpart, sex.

Let’s look at a dictionary definition; 
Gender (noun)
1. The state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones).
2. (In languages like Latin, French and German) each of the classes (typically masculine, feminine, common, neuter) of nouns and pronouns. Grammatical gender is only very loosely associated with natural distinctions of sex.

Gender wasn’t really used to refer to males and females until the 1970s. Prior to this the use of the word was largely limited to grammar. The rise of feminist theory, embracing a conceptual difference between biological sex, and gender as a social construct, brought to the forefront the work of a sexologist, John Money, who first introduced this as a terminological distinction in his work in the 1950s. This distinction is still very much adhered to by social sciences, and by the World Health Organisation.

Unfortunately this semantic distinction becomes very blurred in other areas, including much of the public domain and mainstream media, where the words ‘gender’ and ‘sex’ are used interchangeably and without consideration for the true meaning of either word. It’s taken us well into the 21st century to even begin to establish agreement that sex is the correct term to use when referring to biological classification, and gender as a marker of self-identification and consequent representation to, and experience by the world as masculine, feminine, both or neither.

Of course there is, rightly, ongoing research to establish whether biological differences contribute to or influence the development of gender in humans. The jury is out on that one for the time being and will be for some time; it’s extremely difficult to do studies needed to settle the ‘nature’ vs ‘nurture’ debate.

Suffice it to say that as a trans person, especially if you’re very ‘binary’ (although I aspire to a non-binary identity, unfortunately I’m not yet big enough to surrender my male privilege), and most especially if you have undertaken significant surgeries and treatments to establish yourself as the opposite sex, you will inevitably have made the separation between ‘sex‘ and ‘gender’ with your actual body.

As a person transitions, their gender identity doesn’t change, but their sexual characteristics do. It’s possible, therefore, with the correct treatment, to align one’s body with the ‘felt’ sense of gender. The problem is, what if ‘gender’ is a construct? Then is the internal and innate sense of self (gender) that we trans folk pursue congruence with our bodies for, a figment of human imagination?

If, at the age of four years old when I refused consistently to wear a dress or a skirt and insisted that I be treated like a boy, instead of forcing the issue, my mother had said, “Don’t worry dear, lots of boys don’t have a penis…” how might things be different for me today? In truth I don’t believe there would be a great deal of difference. In fact I think it’s likely that had I been allowed to live as a boy, I’d have transitioned much sooner. Not because I’m a slave to gender, but because, for me, being trans is about biological sex. It’s about incorrect wiring.

My brain expected (as a young child), and still expects, to have male genitalia. I was born like this. With a neurodevelopmental variation; one where my body parts didn’t match up with the developing neurobiology in my brain and spinal cord. This is the only sensible explanation I can come up with as a scientist and a trans person. I need to have some understanding as to how this can happen, and why it appears increasingly prevalent.

Being trans isn’t a modern trend. There are stories and histories from across cultures and eras. There are clues in different cultures and there are examples of both reverence and of appalling treatment directed at trans people. We’ve almost certainly been with you since the beginning of consciousness. But there are definitely other factors at play. We cannot legitimately explain the explosion in waiting lists away, citing visibility and acceptance as reasons for large numbers of people coming forwards to identify as trans.

We need to look at brain development very early in life, and at gender role distinctions that are being reinforced in ever more toxic ways in very young children. We need to look at our language and how we all contribute to a continuation of a binary ‘split’ in the human race, which allows one half to be deeply oppressed and abused the world over, and the other half to access a world of privilege and dominance that gives them a misplaced sense of entitlement and ferments brutality against women. We all need to deconstruct gender.

A concerted effort by every human on the planet is what it will take to free both women and men to live outside of, or beyond, gender. In a world where biological sex and its characteristics are regarded as positive attributes, regardless of what they are or whom they belong to, and where people are respected for their single common attribute, that of being human.

FEATURE: Confessions of a trainee drag teen

Ray A J
Ray A J

Who gets to do drag? A discussion of drag and its offshoots by Ray A J.

SO YOU wanna be a drag queen? One problem, you’re biologically female.

Historically, the idea of a drag queen has been a strictly male dominated territory – you can get the female equivalent (drag king), but women aren’t usually allowed to be queens. It boils down to the idea that drag is dressing up as the opposite gender, which makes sense. Yet over the past few years drag has become much more. It’s a form of expression and opportunity to break down the social construct behind the definition of gender. These queens wear make-up and dresses which are typically considered female things, in order to show how dainty our definition of the female gender is. They don’t necessarily have to ‘pass’ as a female, or look ‘fishy’ (looking like a biological woman). They’re exaggerated versions of a feminine persona, or what is widely considered feminine.

In recent years we’ve seen a change in drag culture. There’s the phenomenon of bio queens, and I’m sure their counterpart bio kings exist too. These people either identify as or are biologically the same gender as their drag persona and yet still dress up and perform in the exaggerated manner of drag. Of course the movement has come under fire (as nothing is without scrutiny) from existing queens or kings that feel the idea isn’t true drag. To be honest, that makes sense, because how can you be an exaggerated version of your own gender? Surely that’s cheating? I can see what they mean. But having said that, what actually is drag? And why can’t a woman be a drag queen, or a man be a drag king? Surely, if the idea is to challenge gender norms, or just to have fun performing or dressing up, then everyone should be welcome? Surely there aren’t any rules over who gets to contribute?

Another issue that needs to be raised: what if you identify outside of the binary of male or female, or you’re trans? Can non-binary people do drag? In the words of the fabulous queen Ben De La Creme, ‘drag is inherently political’; it always pushes gender boundaries. So why can’t non-binaries do drag too?

In the world of drag, there are many acts who identify as non-binary or transgender, or perform using androgyny in their styles, like: Jinkx Monsoon, Violet Chachki, Adore Delano, Celebrity Big Brother winner Courtney Act, Peppermint and Milk. And they’re all successful in what they do. Recently, there’s even been an eight-year-old boy featured in Elle Magazine, as drag queen Lactacia.
Personally, I identify under the non-binary circuit (and am biologically female), and recently I’ve seriously considered doing drag (both male and female). To play into the stereotype of a drag newbie, I’m a huge fan of the TV show RuPaul’s Drag Race, and the way they challenge artists to incorporate fashion, modelling and acting into their art.

The idea of dressing up as my own characters and performing to audiences inspires me. It’s fascinating. I just love the concept and the opportunity to dress up as a man or a woman or anything else – even exaggerated androgynous drag. It’s an exciting way of experimenting with the concept of gender identity. But the one thing that’s holding me back is whether I’ll be accepted by other drag artists. Will I even be considered as a drag artist? And on top of that, am I at risk of offending anyone?

During a group conversation on Facebook, the topic of gender cropped up and I sent an image of a drag queen to the chat. Immediately it was met with applause at how “feminine and authentic” the man dressed as a woman looked. My friend (who is transgender) even expressed jealously over how much like a biological woman this man looked, and how they could ‘pass’. She thought they were transgender. The others didn’t.

Clearing up the confusion, I explained they were a drag queen. But this revelation was met with unusual distain. My friend immediately went into exclamations of hurt and anger over drag, expressing her dislike of it as it “mocks transgender people”. She thought that drag was performed as comedy (some queens are deliberately comical and do stand-up routines), to make fun of a man in a dress and how ‘unusual’ it is. She found the stereotype incredibly hurtful.

Disliking drag is okay though, and I respect her opinion. Of course I felt bad for upsetting my friend – I didn’t realise she’d be offended by drag, or that anyone would be, after all, it’s just wearing clothes outside of your gender norm. To me it’s performance art and gender expression, but to her it was a dig at transgender people.

After speaking to her more, I began to understand that there was a stigma around drag. A lot of misconceptions fly around that drag mocks the gender it imitates, or even that people in drag are a joke to be laughed at. But I don’t think that’s the case anymore – drag is an art form in itself. Just look at the gorgeously intricate drag make-up scattered across Instagram, or the amazing costume and fashion designs woven across the internet. To even watch a drag artist perform is beautiful in itself. It’s not about poking fun at gender, it’s about challenging it.

Regardless of biological gender or identity, anyone should be allowed to do drag if they want to. Actually, to submit to the idea of only having drag queens and drag kings is pushing out other genders. If I’m doing drag, I could dress up as a king, a queen or somewhere between – as long as it’s exaggerated, it’s still drag. If there are so many more than two genders, then there are more options for drag.

Small Wonder Festival 2018 at Charleston

Charleston wants people who identify as LGBT+ to be part of a new project called, Unexpected Delights.

CHARLESTON in Firle is the Sussex home of Bloomsbury artists Vanessa Bell and Duncan Grant. It is steeped in queer history, alternative lifestyles and free-thinking – as well as fabulous art and political thought!

Charleston are very keen to work with local and regional LGBT+ communities to find ways in which they can be useful as an established museum and arts organisation.

To begin this process, they are running a participatory arts project that is linked into their 2018 Small Wonder short story festival to find people interested in becoming involved with Charleston in new and exciting ways.

Charleston see this as the starting point for ongoing involvement that will be decided by those who want to work with them on this project.

About Unexpected Delights
♦      They are looking to recruit a group of around 12 people of any age who identify as being part of the LGBT+ communities

♦     Together, as a group they will explore Charleston – the Gardens and the surrounding down-land. They will take digital photos of things they feel inspire them with “something to write home about” – anything at all!

♦      They will use these images to help re-interpret or create new stories using words and/or our digital photos, with a writer (or two!) from the 2018 Small Wonder Festival, who explore issues around gender fluidity in their books or poems

♦      They will also use the Charleston exhibition Orlando – at the present time to inform what we do

♦     During the time spent together they will creatively combine their words and images to create a series of pages for a scrapbook style book –  a zine – that they can share with others

♦      They will have discussions about how Charleston can be useful to LGBT+ communities and start to plan ways they can work together in the future

About you
♦     You will be somebody who identifies as LGBT+ and interested in being involved in working together with others as a group to create a short scrapbook (zine)

♦     The project will involve coming to Charleston (they might be able to help with transport to get to them)

♦    Talking to others, writing some words and taking some photos

♦     You do not need to have any experience of writing or photography (but it’s OK if you do!) – all you need really is a willingness to join in and try something creative

Project Times and Dates
Currently, they have enough funding to run one day of working together. They have applied for funding for a further three days, and hope to know if they have those funds soon:

1.    Monday September, 10, 11 am until 3 pm

2.    Monday September, 17, 11 am until 3 pm (to be confirmed)

3.    Monday September, 24, 11 am until 3 pm (to be confirmed)

4.    Monday October, 8, 11 am until 3 pm (to be confirmed)

Project facilitators
The project will be coordinated and facilitated by Charleston’s Community Engagement Officer, Mark Richardson. The writers will join in for parts of the project to inspire and entertain everyone.

Cost
The project will be free to participants.

Food and drinks
Take a lunch with you as the Charleston Café will be closed. Free drinks and biscuits will be provided for participants.

Venue
The project will be held at Charleston, Firle, Near Lewes, BN8 6LL, the venue has flat access and accessible toilets.

To book a place
For a booking form email Mark Richardson, Community Engagement Officer at Charleston:

OR Telephone: 01323 815142

OR Write to: Mark Richardson, Community Engagement Officer, The Charleston Trust, Charleston, Firle, Near Lewes, BN8 6LL

Queens Park – Pond or garden? It’s your choice!  

Visitors to Queens Park are being asked to decide how the popular park should be improved.

BRIGHTON & HOVE City Council and the Friends of Queens Park are asking park goers to choose between two very different proposals to enhance the park.

One plan could see the pond improved with more planting and a ‘dipping platform’ created to enable visitors to interact with nature.

The second proposal would see the Quiet Garden improved with new paths opened up to reveal views to the pond, cascade and clock tower.

Both projects were identified in the Queens Park Conservation Plan and the successful project will be funded with section 106 developer contributions.

Display boards summarising the Conservation Plan are currently on display in the park and there will be an opportunity to speak to Council officers in the park on Saturday July 21st  from 1pm to 4pm.

 Cllr Gill Mitchell
 Cllr Gill Mitchell

Cllr Gill Mitchell, chair of the Environment, Transport and Sustainability Committee said: “It’s really important that local people are involved in helping making decisions over how money is spent in their local parks, and I hope park users will take the opportunity to vote. 

 “We will continue to seek opportunities to attract more funding for our beautiful and much loved city parks.”

To view the council consultation, click here:

The consultation closes on August 6.

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