PRIDE has always been a mix of protest and celebration. It’s a great opportunity to be visible to our fellow Brighton & Hove residents and visitors. Brighton & Hove Pride has become the biggest Pride in the UK.
But, is it too big? MindOut says yes and no. Size matters, and its huge success does reflect something of the very special history and special place of Brighton & Hove’s LGBT+ communities. And, of course, it’s a tribute to the fantastic organisers, who have turned it round into a hugely successfully event with panache and skill. There’s the parade, the park and the QueerTakeOver events. And, above all, the bigger the event the more money is raised for local LGBT+ community groups and charities. It’s a fundraiser to be very, very proud of.
On the other hand, Pride now has so much going on, that is can be overwhelming, the parade and the park attract crowds and crowds which can all feel like too much. In amongst it all, it’s really important to take care of ourselves and each other.
It might seem impossible to feel alone with so many people around, but large events like Pride can be very isolating. When everyone around you seems to be having a great time, but you’re not enjoying yourself, it can feel terrible. Creating a Pride that is accessible to people who experience mental health problems can start to break down the stigma of mental illness.
There is still massive stigma attached to mental health problems, Pride gives us at MindOut a great chance to be visible, to talk about mental health and reach people who may not be aware of our services, including advocacy, peer support groups, counselling, peer mentoring and online support.
Every year we create a safe space within the parade for MindOut service users on our open top double decker bus. In the park, several community organisations have tents that you can step into for a bit of calm, and the Access Tent is a place to get information about the facilities available.
Top Tips for surviving Pride:
♦ Give yourself permission to leave if it stops being fun.
♦ Drink plenty of water.
♦ Eat regularly and bring snacks, it’s easy to forget to eat with so much going on.
♦ Support each other. Friends and strangers alike may struggle with feelings of isolation, anxiety, or other difficulties. Don’t be afraid to offer a smile and check in about how they are feeling.
♦ Connect with your community at Pride and all year long. Volunteering and participating in community events can help you feel connected to others – a proven way to combat minority stress and other mental health problems.
♦ There’s no right way to celebrate Pride. Whether you put on all of your rainbows, sequins, and feather boas and go to every event, or you put on your favourite t-shirt and spend time with a few friends, whatever feels good to you is the right way to participate.
At this time of Pride celebrations it’s important to look at the impact of Pride beyond Pride weekend, beyond the partying. Behind the glitter, Pride provides real and lasting change, social change, changes to people’s health and wellbeing, priceless change.
Leigh has participated in Pride most of their adult life – sometimes as a volunteer or parade participant, and sometimes as a spectator. They often go to the events alone, as it is difficult for them to plan and coordinate going to events with others. The crowds of people seem full of people enjoying each other’s company. Couples seem happy and in love with each other. Groups of friends wear matching outfits and seem caught up in their own worlds. They often feel like something is wrong with them because they are not in a similar kind of relationship.
Since coming out as nonbinary, Leigh finds fancy dress a particular trigger of gender dysphoria. Everything seems so gendered. Today wearing a tutu or a skirt might feel fine, and tomorrow it might make them feel terrible about their body. The same goes for a bow tie with a button-down shirt. The glitter and face-paint synonymous with Pride look great on everyone else, but don’t feel like an option for them. They feel like they need to look the part to go to Pride events, but can’t figure out how to accomplish that. They worry they won’t look queer enough for the party.
Leigh talked to someone about how they were feeling via the online support on MindOut’s website. The online support worker helped Leigh make a plan to try and make Pride a fun experience, rather than an anxious one. One of the things Leigh did was reach out to their friend Sam and admit how Pride made them feel. Sam couldn’t believe that Leigh had been feeling that way – they always seem so happy and confident. The two of them agreed to get ready for Pride together. Leigh is looking forward to Pride this year, instead of dreading it.
MindOut INFO
MindOut offers safe LGBT+ spaces to explore mental health. They have advocacy workers, out of hours online support, peer support group work, peer mentoring and a counselling service.
All of their services are confidential, non-judgemental and independent.
For more information:
• See their website: www.mindout.org.uk
• Email them: info@mindout.org.uk
• Call them on: 01273 234839
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