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POETRY REVIEW: Hello Glastonbury – I mean, Brighton

Ray A-J reviews the Poetry Competition and Festival 2017 featuring The Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy at the Old Market in Hove on Saturday, November 18.

Carol Ann Duffy
Carol Ann Duffy

Electric – The atmosphere alive with the buzz and hum of a festival. Undeniably, contagious. If all the literary gigs of the world were a pool, this would be the deep end.

“Where am i?” You ask. Well, I’m a fan in the sea of enthusiasts currently drowning the Old Market in our passion for the first poetry festival.

Lights down. Pitch black. Immediately the packed sardine can, complete with wriggling audience roared. Each of my nerves shooting through me, hairs standing to attention, pumped with anticipation.

Breaking the sudden silence that fell, a deep voice boomed with charm “we have an amazing show!”. Coming out of the shadows the face of a business man, complete with suit and tie, took to the stage. This face belonged to the host of tonight’s event – the Dermot Oleary as it were, Mr Michael Parker. An eruption of whoops and cheers from the eager sardines met Parker’s statement – this was going to be an amazing show. In true Glastonbury fashion, the host called upon the audience; he sounded a round of what he called “pass the clap”. “You’ve got the clap!” he joked as the audience laughed back, engaging in his unusual idea of a Mexican wave – except with clapping.

Positively filling the room right to the brim with anticipation and beaming faces, Parker jumped into his own poem: “trickle down”. Humorous at the very least, the politically charged performance piece swam round the room in waves of laughter and cheers. It was very funny. He himself was crazily charismatic, channeling the likes of Jack Dee in his dry humour. With room successfully warmed, the Jack Dee of slam poetry surrendered the stage to a different kind of poetry performer…

… The next in the so-called “strange pantomime of poetry” (in Parker’s own words) was the supporting act: Hammer and Tongue, a crew of slam poets. Slam, the perfect name for the odd mismatch patched crew of budding poets. Each were a hand slammed onto a table – some with great impact. Others swung too quickly, completely avoiding the table altogether – a hit or miss. First, the Sam Smith of the group, young Connor Byrne took to the stage like a mouse to a cat – terrified. Undeniably the young lad of the slam crew had beautiful words, but like Sam Smith in his early days,  was frail and written off. Poor lad. Although it shows the range of performers on show that night. Deemed the “sacrificial poet”, Bryne left the stage, urging the next hopeful to take to the stand.

One by one fresh faces, young and older, flocked to the stage to perform their art. Liverpudlian Liam Gallagher of poets AP Staunton, as one of the latter, took to the mic like a fish to water. Described as a “champion” by the host, the brit rock poet approached the stage to a round of applause. Through lines of his piece he built up an image of himself as a salt of the earth Liverpool lad; it felt like more of a conversation between him and a close friend then a poem. He was undoubtedly engaging and warm.

The larger than life bloke disappeared into the audience as a small thin lad took his place. The miniature incarnation of rap god Eminem, wriggled as he spat his bars of rhyme and disgust at politics and the digital age. It was as though the words were fighting their way out of him was passion and fury. He is one to watch.

A few Slam poets later, and a literary singer in the form of Shell Huggett graced the stage with her deep poem. The description so delicate as she painted the picture of addiction and mental health. I was moved. The topic was dark and sharp to the touch. At times it dug out memories of the late Amy Whinehouse, the poor singer – another victim of the world’s poisons. Of course the audience erupted in greatful applause when she finished, quite the contrast from the perfect silence we all sat in when listening intently to her heart wrenching story. To me, that performance in particular was the one to break my heart and pull at its strings. It was gorgeous.

After a few more, the three remaining slam poets to finish this stage (literally and figuratively) of the evening were well worth the wait. These took the form of the dry and old-fashioned Robin Lawley, the fierce feminist Emma Robdale, and the charmingly quirky Daniel Searle. Andy Parsons sprung to mind when Lawley took to the stage. Equally as funny and bold, the poet encapsulated the satirical dryness poetry sometimes lacks. It was a refreshing palette cleanser from the deep, dark or outrageously hilarious pieces before. Following his bold nature, the Katy Perry of poems, Emma Robdale performed her commendable and empowering piece on feminism in 2017. The topic of which was so simple (yes, it was about leg hair), but so evoking. Her descriptions, and sharp similes sliced through social convention. It was funny. Like the previous poets, she was funny. But her bold commanding of the stage and control over her words was so much more powerful. It made me think. And, isn’t that what poetry is meant to do?

Throughout the first acts of the festival, I was flung between being an audience member there to view the work and applause, and being immersed in the words themselves; actually becoming the buzz of energy sparked from the poets. It truly was like being at a rock concert, but twice as powerful.

A short break later, a quick trumpet sounding, and, like nerve-wracked X factor hopefuls, the poetry competition contestants were welcomed to the glowing stage. Despite the first lull of the event being the less charming hosts, this section remains a focal point of the whole extravaganza. After all, we were all eagerly anticipating the results of the poetry competition that has been in play for the whole of summer and autumn this year.

Every one of the deserving hopefuls, complete with their own performances of their pieces, emulated solidarity for one-another. I recall one of the pieces, entitled Starling, even absorbed a bubble of unity to the extent of being centred on the poet’s love of Sussex. The harmony and love felt by the people of Brighton ran that deep. This encouraging exhibition of support leaked into the audience. It was as though each onlooker could feel the passion and fear exuding from the performers. Just like a band performing to their fans, the connection between the audience and poets was sparking camaraderie. We were all silent, awaiting the results. Then… (insert drumroll) the winner was finally announced – Lucy with her piece Brexit blues. And well deserved waves of cheers ensued.

Another short break and none other than the punk poet’s answer to Johnny Rotten appeared, in his chain and black skinny jeans. Donning a lute and on a mission, Atilla the stockbroker grabbed the mic with such gusto and passion the audience couldn’t help but erupt into cheers. Every fibre of his speech screamed anarchy, and the old forgotten punk ethos we all miss in this day and age. Atilla, so aptly named as his pieces were oozing with sarcastic quips and irony, ran out a few politically charged rants of rhyme. Some about his love for labour, likening Jeremy Corbyn to Jesus (which of course struck a nerve with me, being the Christian I am, but nonetheless I enjoyed his set greatly). Other songs of sarcasm he streamed seemed to take on a more solem tone. With poems dedicated to his late stepfather and mother, the boisterous bloke seemed to slowly break into a quieter, saddened state. It was interesting to see – these poems clearly meant alot to him, and he really had poured his heart and soul into each line, each word. Once again the love and camaraderie from the audience shone through, in their greatful applause.

Leg up on the monitor beside him, Atilla took on the role of the mighty Mick Jagger as he tried his hand at some freestyle slam. With digs and quips at himself and other “poison pensioners”, the punk poet received warm howls of laughter and footstompingly passionate applause. Although he hit topics we’re all sick to death of (Brexit, Trump’s election and gentrification), he seemed to breath new freshness and life into them; he was funny and thought-provoking. His poem, from the hyperbolic view of a UKIP member (you can imagine what that sounded like), took on the feelings of those who fought to remain in the Brexit vote in its satirical nature. Poking fun at the Conservatives and right parties, Atilla perfectly encapsulated the fear we all felt when leaving the European union – a topic that often surfaced throughout the night.

The punk veteran clambered off the stage like a true rockstar- unwilling to let go of his young rebellious lifestyle (an inspiring outlook we should all aspire to achieve).

Juxtoposing him in her regal fashion was the poet Laureate, the one and only Nina Simone, Carol King, Aretha Franklin of poets… Carol Ann Duffy. She graced the stage before her like it was the throne she deserved. The fangirl in me buzzed as she entered the stage. Taken aback by our fortune at seeing her in the flesh, the audience let out an applause fit for Kings and Queens. We were happy- no, elated  with her presence. Stoic and uncompromising, she returned to her old friend microphone to enlighten us with her knowledge. Accompanying her on his congregation of instruments, a Mr John Sampson (whom Duffy quipped she had “borrowed” from the Queen).

The last post, sounded by Sampson, gave way to Duffy’s commemoration of remembrance. Her poem of the same name, offered a sense of memorial for the war. It carried with it a weight of a thousand solemn goodbyes. It was the perfect poem to pay homage. As she opened her mouth to read, she transformed into the narrator of a great film.  Her words as she introduced her work, her stories, were droplets of water falling from a trembling tree; slow, powerful, her voice carrying the gravitas of their meaning. The impact of each word hit the audience like the splash of a waterfall in slow motion.

Duffy seemed to have a hold over the audience. We were frozen, in awe of what she would say next. One by one she guided us through her poems. Every piece – a picture of passion, a treasure trove of riches in rhyme.

She explains how her second poem to be performed is about a previous that was banned by the examination board, on account of it being considered fuel to house the flame of would be teenage violence. The poem in question was about depression, ending with the teenage subject looking favourably at a knife. To this, the examination board took to believe Duffy meant to encourage violence. Of course it was a rushed assumption, based entirely of false accusation. They were wrong. Duffy made clear her humour on the situation, using the anecdote to map out the inspiration for her next poem. Entitled Mrs Scofield GCSE, her perfectly satirical look at the GCSE system laughed at the examination board’s decision. I nodded along with a smirk plastered on my face. Having been a student of the recent GCSE system change, her poem resonated with me. Apparently others in the audience too, as they let out the odd laugh here and there.

Other poems that followed assumed the tone of Mrs Scofield GCSE. One about the post office, another, equally as funny, spoke about the fictional wife of Charles Darwin and her input in his work. Many donned feminist narratives. Her poems are feminism: furious and fierce. Dissected – her words were gold.

However the humour was but one ingredient in her recipe of performance. The poem Liverpool took on a more dangerous topic; the Hillsborough disaster. It sought to carry the message of the clock that chimed a 99 or so times on the anniversary of the disaster. Like the bell her words chimed. They matched the poem perfectly; slow and pushing the audience to think about the severity of the incident.

In between the poems, Sampson would provide well needed light relief, with jokes and introductory performances on his jumble of instruments.

Sampson stepped back, pleased with the audiences positive response. Suddenly Duffy was  centre stage once more.

The running theme of the night seemed to be politics, and Duffy didn’t shy away from this. Finger out, saluting the one handed salute, She commended Trump for his perfect running of America. His wonderful  work. All of which the audience also commended.

Welling up, slightly cracking the stoic mask from earlier, Duffy introduced her final poem. Premonitions was written after the passing of her mother, and set out to honour her -mission complete. The poem was beautiful, the perfect homage. Chills shot down my spine as she spoke the first line: “we first met when your last breath, cooled in my palm like an egg”. The legato in her voice, soothing.

During all of this, I couldn’t help but think this was much better than sitting at home watching TV.  Better yet, way more engaging than any rock gig I’ve attended.

When she left the stage (all too soon in my opinion), the audience clapped our farewells and Parker returned to the mic to thank the arts council and all the poets involved. Slowly we got up, as if saddened by the eventual end of the festival. This sadness swiftly abandoned our heads, as the buzz from the beginning of the night returned – everybody was pumped with inspiration and energy once more.

In true Rock and roll fashion, I left with what felt like a hangover from the high of the poet’s addictive performances. And like the fangirl I am, managed to grab an autograph from Atilla the stockbroker, that I shall cherish in a frame hung on my wall for the rest of my life.

And sure enough I wasn’t the only one to come away feeling inspired; as I left I overhead an eager lady exclaim it was “thoroughly splendid – a good use of the day!”. Lady, you’re spot on.

If you too are a poetry addict, be sure score a fix of the Hammer and tongue crew for yourself at their next gig on January 7 at the Royal Albert Hall.

 

OPERA REVIEW: Marnie @ENO

Marnie

Nico Muhly at English National Opera

This is a new (world premiere) opera from composer Nico Muhly, with a libretto by Nicholas Wright. Marnie is based on the novel by Winston Graham although alludes to the Hitchcock film. It examines the cost of freedom, the limitations of forgiveness and the impossibility of escaping the past, with Muhly’s  direct and powerful music exploring these themes.

Marnie is a compelling psychological thriller set in England during the late 1950s. A young woman makes her way through life by embezzling from her employers, before she moves on and changes her identity. When her current boss Mark Rutland catches her red-handed, he blackmails her into a loveless marriage. Marnie is left with no choice but to confront the hidden trauma from her past.

Read the synopsis here

Following Two Boys in 2011, this is the composer Nico Muhly’s second world premiere for ENO,  director Michael Mayer makes his UK opera debut, collaborating with ENO Music Director Martyn Brabbins who’s smooth control of the orchestra gave us superb musical moments and an entire evening of perfect sheen and exactness of percussion and tone, the trumpets in particular shone, which made up for some slight narrative bumps in the story. Muhly’s pairing up of instrument and character worked well,  allowing us the insight into the emotional workings of the characters as they lie, deceived, manipulate and cheat each other on stage.  No one tells anyone the truth in the opera, the instrumental paring allows us to follow more closely the narrative impulse.

Mezzo Sasha Cooke sang the title role with a clarity and  febrile vulnerability which was tangible and engaged fully with this complex character within a character, giving us both the vocal power and feminine helplessness / manipulative control  the role demands. Marnie is seriously f’ked up, by a wretched mother who is oddly underwritten considering her terrible actions echo down through the entire narrative up to the very end. Sung with beauty by Kathleen Wilkinson who gave us a lot from her small opportunities along with Diana Montague’s neighbour Lucy, both struggling working class women who do what they must to get by. It’s a lovely pairing and I enjoyed them on stage. Montague’s revelation at the ending funeral scene is beautifully scored and allows her one shining moment of righteousness & rebuking in her singing.

Bass-baritone Daniel Okulitch sings Mark Rutland, the complex husband of Marnie who traps her into marriage and then attempts to assist in dealing with her daemons, his voice wraps itself around the sadness, hurt and confusion of the role with a raw beauty. I felt for them both. They are joined by ENO favourite Lesley Garrett whose role as Mrs Rutland, society matriarch and overprotective mother is fun and James Laing as other Rutland brother Terry whose rejected advances and equally confused attention of Marnie ultimately leads to her exposure, he sang with a wonderful clarity and gave much-needed warmth to an unpleasant opaque character.

Oh the chorus! How many times have I raved about the ENO chorus and yet again I’m given an opportunity to listen to them delight with their overwhelming grace and power, there were some beautiful Brittenesque contrasts of tone and vocal clarity in this production, broad suggestions of space in blended choral song and an exquisite counterpoint as the choir sing a Methodist hymn at a funeral and Marnie finds out the awful truth of her awful early life. Sublime, astonishingly striking and utterly charming harmonic work from the chorus.

Marnie is followed, and shadowed by her four Shadow Marnie’s, all in perfectly exact versions of her own cloths, in primary colours, it reminded me of Disney’s ‘Inside Out’ , but these four Marniettes echo her possibilities, alter egos and emotions and change when she changes but also react when she’s unable to.   These five points of brilliant colour contrasted with the muted 1950’s palette of Arianne Philips costumes and Julian Crouch’s designs, they had a strange and haunting singing style when around her, choosing one note and keeping it, pure and long. It struck me, I adored it, and it felt very ancient and polyphonic in the midst of such modernism and gave Marnie’s confused, crushed psyche some simplicity and order.   Along with a group of silent all male dancers who paraded, peeped, sniffed around and generally vaguely menaced all five Marnie’s with suggestions of creepy male privilege and power.

It’s very beautiful to watch, projections cleverly muted and blend to coalesce into space and geography,  soft endlessly moving sliding panels of the set, the score rising and falling in hypnotic rhythmic John Adams like pacing, superb acting singing sliding in and out-of-place and time with a seriously elegant edge – I enjoyed looking at it as much as listening to it. My enthralled companion attending his first ever ‘modern opera’ was utterly seduced both by the music and singing and announced it his ‘favourite’ ENO production so far!

It’s missing the tension of Hitchcock’s film which is a good thing to those of us who dislike his constant jumps and starts and is firmly back in its British original book setting, which works better.  The chorus with their gossiping, judgmental sniping only adding to this 1950’s drama and its hyperreal feel.

This is a thoughtful production, timely with its focus on power, privilege, and the effect on women of toxic masculinity, sexual abusiveness, power and bad parenting. It’s a working class opera at its heart with an almost happy ending, almost unique in itself. Although perplexed by Marnie, I adored this ENO production and would encourage you to get along to witness this striking and sensitive production. With the current #metoo focus on men in power it’s an appropriate production.

There’s no clarity in the end for poor Marnie; captured she declares herself to ‘be free’ and we leave uncomfortable by the ambiguity of what we’ve witnessed of her life.

Recommended!

For more info or to book tickets see the ENO website here

Until December 3

PREVIEW: Ssshh! Something Trashy’s Happening in The Library

Transgender issues are noisily hitting the headlines left, right and centre at the moment, reflected by Something Underground theatre company re-launching their play      Large Print Trash, and bringing it to the heart of Brighton & Hove.

Jonathan Brown’s play was nominated for a Best Male performer Award in 2007’s  Brighton Fringe, and since then they’ve been racking up the awards.



Jonathan says: “I wrote the play in the wake of becoming a father. I say wake, as it was certainly a bow wave moving through my life, and I fell off the surf board and almost drowned many times.”

The play deals with not only transgender issues, but also fatherhood, and custody issues, has since been included in The Fatherhood Institute Website training resources, and Jonathan now writes regularly for MFFonline, what the BBC describes as the dad’s version of Mumsnet.

He continues: “Large Print Trash follows librarian Jenny, her battle with her identity as a woman and as a father, in the light of prejudice and a mother who wants to deny her access to her child.

“Jenny turns to her ability to take on any personality she chooses to engineer an innocent encounter with her son, to tell him what lies in her heart.

“The ingenious plan that requires even more wit than even she had expected to employ, enables a veritable host of new and surprising relationships to open up for her. Not least… with herself.


Event: Large Print Trash

Where: DukeBox Theatre, Iron Duke Pub, 3 Waterloo Street, Hove

When: December 8

Time: 8pm

Cost: £10.£8

To book tickets online, click here:

 

More gay and bisexual men able to donate blood from today

New blood donation rules for gay and bisexual men come into effect in Scotland and Wales today, and will come into effect in England tomorrow, meaning more gay and bisexual men will be eligible to give blood.

Gay and bisexual men in Britain will be able to donate blood from three months after having sex with another man. The new rules replace a twelve-month deferment period which has been in place since the lifetime ban was lifted in 2011.

Scottish LGBTI equality charity, the Equality Network, has welcomed the new blood donation rules which they say will reduce, but not eliminate, the discrimination faced by gay and bisexual men.

Scott Cuthbertson
Scott Cuthbertson

Scott Cuthbertson, Development Manager, said: “We welcome that more gay and bisexual men will be eligible to donate blood from today.

“We hope many gay and bisexual men who are now able to donate, do so with their peers. These new rules are a welcome and significant step forward, we remain concerned, however, that for too many low risk gay and bisexual men these new rules are, in effect, a continued ban.”

He continued: “The blood service has committed to explore ways in which a more personalised risk assessment could be introduced. We look forward to continuing to work with both the blood service and the Advisory Committee on the Safety of Blood, Tissues and Organs (SaBTO) to eliminate all unwarranted discrimination from the UKs blood donation rules.”

The blood donation rules were changed after the UK, Scottish and Welsh Governments instructed their respective blood services to implement the recommendations of a recent review of blood donor criteria and risk assessment by the Advisory Committee on the Safety of Blood, Tissues and Organs (SaBTO), which advises health ministers and departments for health across the UK.

Northern Ireland has only recently removed the lifetime ban on MSM blood donations, but with the Stormont Assembly suspended is unlikely to implement the new rule changes any time soon.

The rule change also affects people who have sex with partners who are classed as high risk.

‘Bona Balls Up Bingo’ fundraising total passes £1,000 for THT

Mrs Moore receives a certificate from Terrence Higgins Trust (THT) acknowledging the £1,000 raised during Mrs Moore’s Bona Balls Up Bingo at Charles Street.

£1 from every ticket sold for the wacky bingo sessions which take place in a plastic swimming pool is donated to THT. The £440 raised during the present season brings the total raised over the last three seasons by Charles Street for THT to over £1,000.

PREVIEW: Chinese Burn on BBC3 iPlayer

New BBC Three sitcom smashes all Chinese stereotypes with a round-house kick, bursting open the door to the messy yet hilarious realities of the western world, with an eastern twist.

Elizabeth (Shin-Fei Chen) Jackie (Yennis Cheung) FuFu (Yuyu Rau)
Elizabeth (Shin-Fei Chen) Jackie (Yennis Cheung) FuFu (Yuyu Rau)

The programme follows the escapades of three ‘normal’ Chinese girls: Elizabeth the failed Chinese daughter, Jackie the feisty struggling actress, and Fufu the Buddhist princess, fresh off the plane and set to negotiate the trials of modern life in the capital.

The pilot episode sees Elizabeth’s crazy-rich friend Fufu visiting London for the first time – but there’s a problem: Elizabeth has lied about her job to her friends and family back home. She deals with the situation as she always does – by telling more lies and getting drunk.

Meanwhile, Jackie has a big casting for the role of a lifetime – and it’s not the usual ‘Chinese prostitute, DVD seller or takeaway girl’. This is the worst time to be babysitting a kooky new arrival.

Chinese Burn is one of BBC Three’s new Comedy Slices launching this autumn and written by new writing talent, Yennis Cheung and Shin-Fei Chen.

They lead the cast alongside Yuyu Rau and a guest performance from Felicity Montagu (Alan Partridge).

The Producer is Alex Smith (Trollied, Adolf the Artist); Executive Producer, Ash Atalla (The Office, People Just Do Nothing) and the Director is Chris Cottam (Carter’s Get Rich, Sunny D).

Chinese Burn is a Roughcut production for BBC Three and is available on BBC iPlayer on Monday, November 27 from 10am on BBC THREE.

 

OPINION: Craig’s Thoughts 

A Christmas Tale or Baby Jesus Will Save Us (again) by Craig Hanlon-Smith @craigscontinuum.

And lo, as another seasonal winter of good cheer loomed ahead like a Nazarean census, Joseph and his Mary set out once more on their quest to deliver the son of God to save mankind. Salvation would come in the form of a donkey, a few worried sheep and ultimately by womb-dropping a baby into an unremarkable feeding trough, hidden in the corner of a derelict shed.

If that was the master plan, is it any wonder we’re all in the shit? However, it is not for us to argue on the origins of an internationally-renowned religion, and besides who doesn’t get their cockles warmed by the tale of Baby Jesus, or at least the John Lewis Christmas ad?

It had been a funny old year for our disillusioned yet once hopeful couple. Joseph, never the centre of the attention, was resigned to Mary’s so-called immaculate conception because although he had restrained himself nightly, it turns out every bugger in the Palace of Westminster or perhaps Hollywood had probably had a turn, and so Mary’s not being with child would have been the real Christmas miracle.

In order to protect Mary’s honour, they invented some shit about the angel of the Lord visiting in the dead of night, and as Catholic Priests with loose cassocks had been getting away with it in children’s homes for years, billions, yes billions, fell for it.

Mary might have told her story to a local media outlet, but in those days by the time the palava had been etched onto some ancient parchment, the populace had swiftly moved on, and were now more concerned with which remote island King Herod was shoving his stash of bitcoin. And so, our Mary’s needs once again pushed to the side, she accepted her lot, straddled the Christmas mule and set out upon the dusty road as per usual. The story was, after all, probably bollocks.

Their odyssey was no longer the smooth ride it had been in previous tellings of the Christmas story. Our heroes were both dark of skin, and the face of Joseph half disguised behind a heavy-set beard. And whilst facial hair would have made Joseph a real man and considerably more attractive to a wider range of homosexuals on Instagram, in reality it meant that stupid people could shout “Muslim Go Home” whilst frightening yet equally idiotic folk, with money and a shudder of global authority, could shove him in a detention centre whilst the local Judiciary argued the toss as to whether or not he should travel internationally ever again. “If only the world had a Baby Jesus to sort this mess out,” he thought to himself as he direct messaged a picture of his penis to 375 followers, only six of whom replied.

As Joseph and his Mary trekked through the land of Judea, they had a strange feeling that they might be heading in the wrong direction, as they met hoards of people leaving. This seemed strange to them as these were skilled house-builders, carpenters, inn-keepers and local health-care workers, but as our protagonists arrived in their homeland, all became clear.

The local officials were carving up great segments of the green and pleasant land, shovelling it into wheelbarrows or whatever the BC equivalent was, and hunkering down in lonely corners, barricaded into isolation behind great mounds of pointless earth, waving a crumpled disintegrating flag whilst whistling a discordant national anthem and dressed up in the faded costumes of Dad’s Army. And although some were convinced they were to make their tiny separatist corner of Christendom great again, Joseph and his Mary didn’t even bother attempting to book into a local hostelry, there was after all undoubtedly no room, and headed straight for the stable with the pigs and ducks.
Shepherds in the field, expecting a whole and holy host of angels to illuminate the night’s sky and proclaim the birth of the Christ child, were disappointed to be met with hundreds of headless chickens leaping from cloud to cloud whilst screaming, and yet saying, well, not very much at all.

Meanwhile, nestled amongst the piggies, Joseph and his Mary had finally given birth to their saviour and awaited the arrival of the wise men. They waited, and they waited, and still they waited but no wise men appeared. “Christ alive!” wailed an exasperated Mary, “I thought we’d find at least three wise men in the centre of the known world.” But what our protagonists would soon discover was that not only were their community leaders not wise, they actually appeared not to know what the f**k they were doing at all.

Even King Herod was not consistent with his  Christmas story duties. Oh he did threaten to kill all of the first-born within the Kingdom of Judea, and ‘to totally destroy Pyongyang’, although as most assumed this was bravado regarding an unpleasant sex act performed upon a Taiwanese prostitute, no-one took it seriously. Besides, he was too busy teeing off at hole number 12 to get his shit together.

Craig Hanlon-Smith
Craig Hanlon-Smith

Had Jesus himself at this point not been such a baby, he may have led his own revolution, inspired a few million people to follow him, at least on twitter, or perhaps suggested a second referendum, but as recent elections had suggested that democracy was clearly a terrible idea and that the public should no longer be allowed near a polling station, no one really would have bought into that one.

And so Baby Jesus cried. And he cried. And he cried. For this time, even he could not save mankind. They would just have to get on with it, until the robots came.

OPINION: Grindr diversifies and the gay men are scared! 

Ms. Sugar Swan tries out the latest update from the (until recently) gay hook up app for men, Grindr.

When people ask me, “Do you miss anything from your old life?” the only answer I ever have for them is simply, “Grindr”. Now that may sound odd asking a trans woman if she misses anything that she had pre-transition and her answer is a gay male hook up app, but let me explain.

Grindr has been around since 2009, so for 8 years. Being an early adopter, I have been using that app for 6 years. That’s a long time. It has seen men fly from foreign lands to come and spend a weekend with me, it has brought beautiful people into my life, some of which became partners, it has brought me heartache and upset and caused me to cry, and eventually, as I transitioned it broke up with me as I was no longer its user demographic. That is until now!

Three days ago Grindr released the following tweet “We’re celebrating Trans Awareness Month with new features to help trans and gender non conforming [people] connect better.”

Today those new features went live and for the first time in a couple of years, I logged onto Grindr. I’ve obviously missed a few updates but the principle is the same. I started to face all the usual boring drop down boxes, weight, height, body shape, ethnicity but then it became interesting.

The next set of boxes were labeled ‘Identity’ and here you can choose from an array of genders from cis man, trans man, cis woman, trans woman, non-binary, non-conforming or it asks you if you would like to type in your own personal gender identity.

At this point I was completely blown away. Grindr has opened its doors to all of us, we are all finally welcome into one space to explore each other, no more sexual segregation, just as it should be, let us all set our search parameters to what tickles our fancy on that particular day and not be boxed in by only having part of your dating pool available to you on one app. Just as I thought my wide on was at its fullest, I came to the next box and it asked me if I wanted to use She/Her, They/Them or He/Him pronouns. Brava Grindr! Exquisite!

Now this next part is just brilliant. When somebody comes across a profile like mine, if they read it, they will see that my Gender Identity is Trans Woman and my Pronouns are She/Her. Next to these fields on my profile there is a small information button. When you select this it takes you to the ‘Gender Identity Help Centre’ which is basically an FAQ for cis people who are a bit confused by the changes. Not is it only really informative, it has the possibility, if cis people read it, to take some of the emotional labour off of trans people. It answers all the standard questions like explaining what cisgender, transgender and non-binary mean but it goes way beyond that. The FAQ’s include questions more specific to the nature of the app such as “How can I respectfully ask a trans person what they like sexually” “Is it ok to ask a trans person about surgeries” “Is it offensive to tell a trans person they don’t look trans” “Can a trans person be gay” The answers are just brilliant and I could not have written a better guide myself. Grindr have really done their research here and have been working with trans people to make sure they have got it right, and I really think they have.

As I started to use the app I had a very high uptake. 400+ messages in 12 hours. Obviously I haven’t been able to read them all but they follow a pattern. There are many confused cis gay men sending me nasty messages asking me why I am here and telling me I shouldn’t be. These only make up for about 10% of my messages so are the minority. I think most gay men can’t be bothered to insult me, or don’t feel the need to as they are secure enough not to.

Most messages are from the bisexual cis and trans men and masculine aligned enbies that already held profiles before the changes of the last few days, these messages make up about 60% of my messages, but the other 30% are from brand new profiles.

I have messages from other trans women, trans lesbians specifically (woo-hoo! – I LOVE my sisters). I have been messaged by many cis guys who state in their profile bio that they are straight and are only looking for girls (this one is really going to upset the gays!) yep! you’re actually going to have to read someones bio before you send them that cock pic they are not up for.

The messages I am receiving from the new profiles are distinctly more respectful than the ones I am receiving from the old. The way the men in the existing profiles treat me is akin to how two gay men would interact, something that feels little more than a business transaction where compliments are standardised instead of specific to you, where pictures I really don’t want to see are sent, where I am asked “What u up 2?”, where there is expressed disappointment that whilst I will send some tasteful nudes, I will not send photos of my genitalia. Where there is an expectation that I must be looking to have sex in the next hour. Now there is nothing wrong with that and if that works for you, great. Personally, it actually made me feel like I was being treated like a man and I found it quite disrespectful, especially when I am expressing that isn’t how I want to interact with you and trying to point you to the FAQ’s in how to interact with me.

I need a slightly different approach and I am very lucky that the straight men who are as new to Grindr as I am are very respectful. They are just as mesmorised by the boobs as the rest of them, but they know the best way to gain access to them is to pay me individual well thought out compliments, take time to think of things to speak about that would be of interest, go and read the FAQ’s when they bring up something inappropriate and then come back to me, and come back to me they do, enlightened and thankful that I pointed them out and they are straight in there testing out their new-found empowerment of how to flirt with me. The end result of both sets of profiles is the same, sex, it’s just one set of guys are likely to get it, and one set aren’t.

Grindr’s latest press release states that they have reviewed their website and they have removed all gendered terminology for gender neutral terminology in its readiness for having girls amongst its userbase. However, in the short time I have spent using it I have found that more work needs to be done on the app.

As amazing as all the things I have described are, there is still work to be done on the app. The built in emoji part of Grindr is hugely problematic. It’s emojis contain Ru Paul quotes and pictures of drag queens which are seen as oppressive by many trans women.

It also contains loads of emojis of men, just men, and drag queens, who are men. There is the Twink, The Bear, The Jock, etc. Where is the Nerdy girl? The Cool Girl? The butch lesbian looking trans girl with the short haircut and the tattoos? Yes, I am talking about myself. The point I am getting at is that there is no diverse representation here and that needs to be addressed.

Another problem is with some of the terminology on the app. It still asks you if you want to upgrade to “see more guys” rather than the promised gender-neutral terminology of something, I don’t know, off the top of my head, “see more profiles”. You see this stuff really isn’t hard, It’s pretty straight forward. Including everyone is something that is so so simple and so important to build bridges in our communities in a time when it is terribly torn apart.

Now I am not under any illusions that Grindr is going to become a truly inclusive dating app overnight. It may never do that. I have yet to see any profiles from cis girls, lesbian or straight which is something that I hope will pick up over time. What I am more inclined to predict is that it may become a place where everyone who falls under the Queer community is welcome and feels safe to use the app as we have a lot of romantic and sexual crossover in the LGBTQIA community. I am excited to what will happen over the coming months,

I would love it if everyone on the app stated their gender and pronouns as that makes cross-community dating a lot easier. (That feature isn’t just for me, you’re average user could state, Cis Male, He/Him). In the mean time, I am enjoying separating the wheat from the chaff and I have moved to WhatsApp (which is like 3rd base I suppose) with 2 girls and 3 guys and I am enjoying my interactions. All in the name of science, for this article, of course.

Blueprint 22 celebrate achievements of young people in Sussex

Blueprint 22 youth project held their annual Youth Awards ceremony on Sunday, October 29 at the East Worthing Community Centre, professionally hosted by one of their young people, Sergio McKellen, aka Myelin Sheath.

Awards were presented in recognition of those attending the project as well as businesses and organisations supporting the project.

Entertainment was provided by young people at the project and included the performance of original poetry and singing.

 

FILM REVIEW: You Were Never Really Here

If I had to sum up Lynne Ramsay’s style of filmmaking in a word it would be ‘concentrated’. Important clues about a character, or a vital link in a chain of events, might be expressed in a single shot or a couple of words. Don’t expect any long scenes of expositionary dialogue. Or, to be honest, short ones. After the credits rolled for You Were Never Really Here it took me and my friend Nick a good 20 minutes to work out to our respective satisfaction roughly what had gone on. Though we were still a bit iffy on the why. A stranger in front of us offered up a theory on one of the characters that we hadn’t even considered. But this isn’t meant as carping – though I did miss one big reveal due to some actorly mumbling – more a reflection on a very intense, occasionally fragmentary, way of telling a story.

In the first five minutes Ramsay effectively sets out her stall. Motes of dust, a man auto asphyxiating himself, a hammer covered in thick congealing blood, a terrified half-naked boy. Although you couldn’t piece together a coherent narrative you get the main idea: brutality, terror and the loss of innocence. The film proceeds as a particularly American form of nightmare with nods to other giants of the genre. Early on Joe (Joaquin Phoenix) jokingly performs the staccato Psycho shower music to his mother whilst the plot bears similarities to Taxi Driver; and it links politics to sexual depravity as effectively as Chinatown.

Joe works for some kind of agency which tracks down lost children. He gets an assignment from a Senator whose daughter has gone missing. Though the Senator has been texted the address of a house which turns out to be a child brothel where his daughter is being kept. Joe seems strangely incurious about who exactly solved the case for him, though this is just one of the mysteries which never seem to get resolved. Which doesn’t particularly matter as the film is genuinely brilliant on almost everything else. From the dowdy, depressing interiors, to the queasy sense of violence that permeates almost every scene, to Phoenix’s completely committed performance Ramsay doesn’t lose your attention for a second.

Phoenix’s portrayal is pretty much a meditation on human suffering. With his unkempt beard and basically inscrutable stare – which occasionally cracks into crying jags of anguish – he seems to alternate between Charles Manson and Jesus. What kind of person is he? Even with clues to the abuse he suffered as a kid, and the horrors he witnessed as a soldier, it’s hard to tell. Though in one scene, perhaps one of his hallucinations, there’s a comparatively long shot of a young girl who looks into his eyes and starts to cry. Whether it’s in sympathy or fear or both, it’s a brilliantly ambiguous judgement on this grizzled wreck of a human being.

Shown as part of the Cinecity Festival.

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