Anyone expecting the usual exploits of the well known Three Musketeers is going to be in for a shock if they go and see this new show from  The English Touring Theatre as writer Chris Hannan has gone back to the story by Alexandre Dumas and teased out this utterly surreal and anarchic concoction based on the original.

The story of the young sword fighter d’Artagnan who sets out to save the Princess of Spain having adventures on the way is a clothes line of plot to hang some seriously odd moments on and although I didn’t really grasp quite what was going on; such as why the Princess of Spain was pregnant, who the father of her child was and why the King of France wanted to marry her in the first place, I was swept away by the sheer energetic madness of this piece.


There are two distinct levels of theater going on here, one for the kids and one for the adults with a serious message about identity, friendship and love weaving them both together.  

With an interesting set from Colin Richmond some atmospheric soundscapes from Nikola Kodjabashia and a hearty dash of imagination the theater comes alive as a haunted wood, the back streets of Paris and the vaults under the pavements.

These three musketeers are an odd, seedy, past it bunch, in retirement and chasing their own weakness and indulgences, Porthos is a delightful confection of mad Scottish vain drag queen and cake eating maniac, Aramis an aging Lotherio cum lounge singer and Athos a cynical drunk who’s scared of daylight. Together they are recovered from their weaknesses by being reminded of their duty, fraternity and honour. It’s hard to explain what really goes on, so just settle in for a good time. The crooning Las Vegas style ultra cynical love song with a backing chorus line of male nuns is just one of the rather delicious shocks in this production. There are many more.  I loved it.


With some genuinely good performances, and the whole cast obviously enjoying themselves and throwing some knowing winks the way of the adult audience this is a sophisticated piece of theater dressed up as something silly for the kids.  It’s crude, rude and full of joy. With a touch of sadness and a happy clappy ending the nine year old who I took along with me rather enjoyed it. Not too scared by the nightmarish puppetry (from ace puppeteers Colin Richmond & Rachael Canning) she loved this, unaware of the seriously dark edge that the rest of the adults enjoyed.  ( I was worried that 8+ was a bit young for the age guidance but was reassured by my young friends oblivion to the more adult themes and her obvious enjoyment of the high energy thrills)


I was expecting half-term pap if I’m honest but left the theater having had one of the better nights out in the Theater Royal in ages.  All the cast were excellent but I’m going to pick three performers who I really enjoyed; Cynthia Erivo as Constance delighted the kids and her energetic engagement with the audience warmed us on a cold night, Clive Mendus as the wretched scheming Cardinal was a slice of Restoration comedy heaven and he took camp to those dark areas where it became genuinely creepy and Seb Morgan as Olivier simply because his sword fighting skills and charming welsh accent delighted me, as did his cute face. Shallow, but true, must have been those breeches.

The fights scenes (directed by Renny Krupinski) are thrilling, there’s some music thrown in, endless jokes - both playground crude and clever critiques of the price of delusions - and some surreal moments which left me wondering what on earth would happen next.

This was six of one and a half dozen for all, mad, strange, funny and oddly compelling.  I left worrying that I’d dragged a nine year old into something creepy, odd and frankly disturbingly surreal. Unruffled and excited she left chuffed at having guessed the secret of the ‘biggest thing in the world’ and having enjoying the Petulant Princess of Spain although she wasn’t half as scared by the mad dog puppets as I’d been!

A wonderful introduction to the theater for the kids this half term and a kick up the pants for any parents who think they’re going to have to sit through two hours of panto-grade rubbish. Well done to the English Touring Theater for not insulting anyone's intelligence, giving me a shock and also reminding me what really good childrens theater should be about. (you can even download free games from their website, here)

On until Saturday 30 Oct  at 7pm with  matinees on Thu & Sat 2.30pm
Theater Royal
Brighton

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